Like little stars.
If an alien species came across footage from last night’s MTV VMAs and watched it, trying to determine whether we’re a race worth saving, Earth surely would have been blown up by now. And Miley Cyrus is the woman we’d all be able to thank for that. Cyrus, who is desperately trying to make a name for herself as an expert twerker, forced all of America to watch her indulge her new hobby while on stage.
The performance was so jarring that the New York Times described it as a “shambolic, trickster-esque performance by Ms. Cyrus, to whom no one has apparently said ‘no’ for the last six months or so, which included plenty of lewdness and a molestation of Robin Thicke.”
MSNBC’s Mika Brzezinski called Cyrus “a mess” on “Morning Joe”:
“I think that was really, really disturbing. That young lady, who is 20, is obviously deeply troubled, deeply disturbed, clearly has confidence issues, probably eating disorder and I don’t think anybody should have put her on stage. That was disgusting and embarrassing…That was not attractive. That was not fun. That was not funny. That was really, really bad for anybody who’s younger and impressionable and she’s really messed up…The whole thing was cringe worthy but I feel bad for her. She is a mess. Someone needs to take care of her. Someone needs not to put her on stage and make a complete fool of herself.”
As US Weekly notices, Drake, Rihanna and One Direction were not impressed, either:
Making her performance even more disturbing, Buzzfeed’s Ryan Broderick points out that Cyrus bears an uncanny similarity to Angelica’s doll Cynthia from Rugrats:
Basically, this tweet says it all:
But this is our fault, America. The Onion predicted this would happen back in 2008 and no one tried to stop it:
…at least Will Smith enjoyed it?:
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at email@example.com.More Prachi Gupta.
Like little stars.
World's best pie apple. Essential for Tarte Tatin. Has five prominent ribs.
So pretty. So early. So ephemeral. Tastes like strawberry candy (slightly).
My personal fave. Ultra-crisp. Graham cracker flavor. Should be famous. Isn't.
High flavored with notes of blood orange and allspice. Very rare.
Jefferson's favorite. The best all-purpose American apple.
New Hampshire's native son has a grizzled appearance and a strangely addictive curry flavor. Very, very rare.
Makes the best hard cider in America. Soon to be famous.
Freak seedling found in an Oregon field in the '60s has pink flesh and a fragrant strawberry snap. Makes a killer rose cider.
Ben Franklin's favorite. Queen Victoria's favorite. Only apple native to NYC.
Really does taste like pineapple.