2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Men, if you have ever endured the humiliation of buying Activia or other brands of womanly food products at the grocery store, take heart: There are now food products made just for you.
As the Wall Street Journal reports, more and more men are doing a larger share of the grocery shopping and meal preparation, so companies are trying to make the experience less emasculating by creating products specifically for masculine tastes.
What does that mean? Great question!
Men do not like straws:
Lots of products on food shelves are big no-nos to men, says Lu Ann Williams, head of research for Netherlands-based Innova Market Insights. Others help men feel more, well, manly. “A beer or soda in a long-necked, brown bottle makes a man feel like a man. Drinking out of a straw does not –puckered lips and sunken cheeks are not a good guy look.”
Men do like power animals:
Which helps explain Powerful Yogurt, a Greek yogurt launched in March featuring a bull’s head symbol on red-and-black packaging and an image of stomach muscles next to the slogan “Find Your Inner Abs.”
Men do not like digestive health:
The yogurt shelf “is light blue, light pink, white, and everyone’s talking to women and their digestive health,” says Carlos Ramirez, chief executive of the Miami-based company. “The amount of protein is what guys are looking for.”
Men do like “crunchy” and “ultimate”:
Larger players in the food industry also see new potential in men. General Mills went on a nationwide summer tour to introduce its newly rebranded Helper product line to more men.
Representatives in a red truck offered samples of Crunchy Taco and Ultimate Three Cheese Marinara at fire stations, Nascar races and a Real Men Cook event for fathers in Chicago. (“Ultimate” is a male-friendly buzzword appearing regularly in products like these.)
You can learn more about how to eat like a man here.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.