2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
In an especially silly segment on Sunday’s edition of “Fox & Friends,” Tucker Carlson and company spent a good chunk of time worrying whether an obviously fake social media campaign by “feminists” (i.e., not feminists) to “#EndFathersDay” was a sign of the coming destruction of all men.
The fake campaign, launched by the notoriously trolly users of 4Chan.org, was intended to ridicule online feminists and to imply that their ultimate goal is not full equality but rather the destruction and domination of men. Most people immediately recognized the farce for what it was … except for the folks at Fox News.
In order to better understand the misandrist mind-set of the online feminist, the Fox News crew brought on the foremost expert on feminism, the Internet and modernity in general, Susan “Princeton Mom” Patton.” To no one’s surprise, Patton did not attempt to calm down her conservative hosts, opting instead to add even more fuel to the fire.
“They’re not just interested in ending Father’s Day,” Patton warned of online feminists, “they’re interested in ending men. That’s really what they want.” She went on to describe these online feminists (who, again, are not feminists but people interested in mocking feminists) as “ridiculous” and “antagonistic.”
Carlson wholeheartedly agreed, saying that when online feminists try to “crush men,” they really end up “hurt[ing] women.”
Then, adopting the standard “Why is there no white history month?” argument, the folks on Fox argued there was something hypocritical in these feminists taking on Father’s Day while leaving Mother’s Day untouched. “Well, without fathers, there would be no mothers,” Patton noted.
“Every day is Mother’s Day,” she continued. “Let’s give dad this one Sunday in June, and, you know, be good spirited about it.”
You can watch the segment below, via the Raw Story:
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.