2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Paula Patton dumped him, he wrote a creepy album to try to get her back, Twitter mocked him, and now former pop god Robin Thicke is slumming it on the charts, having sold fewer than 54 copies of album “Paula” in Australia. The sales were so low, reports News.com.au, that it “may not have even made double figures in Australia.” We don’t know exactly how many copies of the album were sold, in fact, because sales don’t register for albums outside of the the Top 500 in Australia. Damn.
This is even more laughably low than Thicke’s already laughably low sales in the U.K., where he debuted at No. 200 and sold only 540 copies in the first week. (For reference, the population of the U.K. is only 2.7 times that of Australia’s). “Paula” fared better in the U.S., though, where it debuted at No. 9, selling 24,000 copies. Americans either find creepy love stories of obsession cute (cough, “The Notebook,” cough), or they’re willing to put money down for irony. Either way, it’s clear that “Paula” was doomed from the start.
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.More Prachi Gupta.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.