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TV Diary -- "Boot Camp"
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We get our thrill on Dismissal Hill
Episode 4: For once, Yaney blows up something besides a balloon.

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April 19, 2001 | Recruit Yaney is an archetype. He is a balloon sculptor by profession, and as we saw a couple of weeks ago, he may indeed be a modern Bernini of this celebrated and history-heavy area of human endeavor.

How he came to be on "Boot Camp" is a mystery for the ages. D.I. Francisco speculates it allows Yaney to prove that he could do it, to push himself, but that still begs a few questions: One, isn't being a balloon sculptor and dealing with the grueling bands of demanding children enough? Why did he feel the need to push himself further?

And, given the treatment he's in for tonight, couldn't he do it in a less physically punishing way?

Thinking along these lines, we realize that Yaney should perhaps instead be thinking of a career upgrade -- to, say, a clown, in which job he could, in addition to the extravagant balloon sculptures, deliver yuks, even while making himself available for pies in the face, getting bonged by two-by-fours and so forth.

Instead, on "Boot Camp," Fox TV's hallucinatory reality TV show, Yaney, with his glasses, braces and trusting eyes, is everyvictim writ large. He is Piggy in "Lord of the Flies," Shelley Winters in "The Poseidon Adventure," the buck private from Abilene in every war movie who gets blown away in the second reel.

But he says he's in it to win. "This is anybody's game," Yaney says. "I'm in the top 10 already."

He's not as crazy as he sounds. "Boot Camp's" wild card is its coed setup. In a real boot camp, populated only by men, Yaney would have been chewed up right after his first balloon poodle was eaten by Drill Instructor McSweeney.


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But in "Boot Camp" the women think Yaney is cute. They wouldn't sleep with him or anything, but they're not going to vote him off anytime soon.

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It's day 13. The recruits are thinking ahead.

In "Boot Camp," you will recall, the recruits, originally numbering 16, vote one of their own off the show each week. The ejectees, in turn, get to take another recruit down with them -- presumably whomever they suspect of having engineered their ouster.

Each week, one recruit is chosen as squad leader, and put in charge of the group's mission for that show. If the group accomplishes the mission, it gets some special reward, and the troop leader that week gets amnesty from expulsion.

We see Recruit Jackson, one of the men, explain why he's trying to avoid being chosen squad leader this week.

"As it gets to the point where there are no more weak people to vote off, that amnesty is going to be more valuable," Jackson says.

Whitlow, one of the women, is thinking similarly: "I need to stand out when the time is right."

Just about everyone's thinking that way. That means they have to find someone who they can prop up in that role right now so that they can assume it later, when it matters.

Like a three-card-monte crew looking for a mark on a crowded subway train, the 10-person group zeroes in on Yaney.

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