I Like to Watch

April 2, 2006 | One of the most unfortunate side effects of having a career is having to discuss that career with other human beings. Because nine times out of 10, when someone asks you, "What do you do?" they're not interested in what you have to say about your career, they're asking so that they can tell you all about what you do for a living.

Ask any doctor who's forced to hear stories about how arrogant and shoddy most doctors are or any lawyer who's treated to jokes about getting sued or suing people constantly: Strangers just love to make the same old comments about your career that you've heard 50 million times before. Part of your job is grinning and politely enduring it.

When I mention to a stranger that I'm a TV critic, I'm immediately invited to a lengthy lecture titled "Everything on TV Is Pure Crap." The examples supporting this argument are generally culled from two-minute promos for new shows that the lecturer spotted halfway through "60 Minutes." Ironically, the lecture tends to end with a digression along the lines of, "But I really do love 'Wife Swap' -- that's the one thing I watch consistently."

Most of the time, these lectures about TV segue seamlessly into wider, more expansive talks that could be titled "The World Is Going to Hell in a Handbasket." Once, as my dermatologist removed a suspicious mole from my back, she explained to me how the soulless sodomists on television were a sure sign that, like the Romans before us, our civilization would soon fall. Yes, she said sodomists. She said the word several times, so I couldn't miss it: Sodomy. Sodomizing. Sodomists.

All I could think was, what's so wrong about ass sex? And how did talk of my career lead me here, discussing sodomy with a mean little woman with a scalpel in her hand? Naturally I'm the first to agree that shows like "Paradise Island" are a sure signal of the imminent fall of Western civilization. But what does ass sex have to do with anything?

If I were a true hero, of course, I would have put this dermatologist in her place, preferably by sodomizing her, and then I would've gone home and made T-shirts with, "What's so wrong about ass sex?" written on them.

But I'm not a hero. And I can only imagine the kinds of annoying lectures you get from total strangers when you are a hero, let alone a hero for sodomy.

Craptastic
But the more TV I watch, the more impressed I am with the heroes fixated on making worthwhile, enlightening shows. Sure, there is a lot of crap on TV -- that goes without saying (I wish) -- but the naysayers refuse to consider the volume of intelligent, educational material that's out there.

Now, granted, most of the time I choose flashy, empty entertainments over informative ones, because most of the time I'd rather watch dumb people bicker over stupid marketing tasks than be forced to contemplate really heavy questions about global warming and civil rights, lest I sink into a "The World Is Going to Hell in a Handbasket" funk. But this week I happened to watch a bunch of stuff that's a little heavier and more worthwhile than usual, and it has me thinking about how many great programs are available every week, programs that will expose you to perspectives, places and issues that you're likely to miss when perusing the fickle news cycle.

Instead of hearing the latest in the Natalee Holloway case for the 50 millionth time, you could watch any one of a number of televised documentaries on a wide range of subjects that you won't see covered anywhere else. These are docs that maybe lack the broad appeal of, say, "Hoop Dreams," "March of the Penguins" or "Murderball," but that artfully explore topics you just wouldn't be exposed to otherwise.

Next page: The boys from Brazil...