Britney Spears loses custody of her kids. Today, a judge granted Spears' ex-husband Kevin Federline temporary custody of their two kids, 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James. The terribly sad saga continues.

"Some call it stalking, I call it 'love.'" A shirt bearing that slogan -- in a font that can be best described as "finger-painting with blood" -- is now being sold at Wal-mart, where they have low prices and even lower taste. (Via Feministing)

Squatters no more. Die-hard camping, road-tripping and concert-going women have long hoped for an invention that would facilitate peeing while standing up. But, few imaged it would be so ... sparkly. (As this item was e-mailed around the office today, someone responded: "Is this a princess penis?") It's also jarringly anatomically correct -- if you're Dirk Diggler, anyway. (Via BuzzFeed)

What turns female beetles on? Water. A new study shows that female beetles mate more often when they're in need of water -- and the male beetle's ejaculate contains "life-saving nutrients and water." Human semen may be rich in vitamins, minerals and sugars, but researchers say women don't share a similar sexual drive. Lead researcher Martin Edvardsson said, "[Men] would have to increase the size of their ejaculates by about 2,500 times to 2 gallons to be able to match the beetles."

Boy crowned Homecoming Queen. A reader tipped us off to this story about Aaron Zaggy, a prankster at University City High School, Missouri, who decided to run for Homecoming Queen. Zaggy won the title, as well as the ire of the girls who had vied for the title.

You're grounded divorced! A reader sent us a link to this news brief about a Saudi man who divorced his wife for watching a TV program anchored by a man, without supervision.