Wrath of a terror widow

Yes, we are angry, often justifiably, but we are not ungrateful opportunists making a buck on the death of loved ones. That person is cartoonist Ted Rall.

By A.R. Torres

Mar 15, 2002 | I sent an e-mail to cartoonist Ted Rall last week after I read his "Terror Widows" comic strip online in the New York Times.

"Dear Mr. Rall," I wrote.

"I have asked my dead husband to haunt you for the rest of your miserable days.

Shame on you for making our lives just a little bit harder with your ignorant little rant.

Sincerely,

A.R. Torres"

The missive, and an avalanche of ones just like it, did not inspire an apology from Mr. Rall. Instead, he told the press, "I've done a few lousy cartoons in my time that I'd love to take back, but this isn't one of them." And then, in another blast of cruel stupidity, Rall did it again, skewering firefighters in a Gear magazine cartoon.

The Universal Press Syndicate issued a statement in support of Rall, insisting that the cartoonist "is looking at recent news events with the cynical eye of a satirist." And they're right. Rall captured in his cartoon the new view of victims' families as shallow and greedy. Gone is the exaggerated view of the families as noble and tragic, as wounded individuals worthy of unlimited sympathy and support. In its place is the growing impression that we are money-grubbing widows, glad to dump our husbands for a cool million.

I thought the first take on us was problematic, but it was certainly better to be pitied than to be despised to the point that my loved one's death can be painfully and unapologetically satirized. Is there a chance that sometime soon we will be seen for what we are: a diverse and reluctant band of grieving and frightened victims who might be expected to show emotions on occasion? Are there observers of our very public mourning who might concede that our experiences in the last six months cannot be characterized by those who have not had them too?

For instance, I am angry. It is an emotion that could easily be interpreted as unseemly, whiney, or insane, but I am nearly consumed with rage these days -- at Rall, the Red Cross, my therapist, all therapists, the Victim Compensation Fund, my husband Eddie, callous strangers, certain media (you know who you are) and myself.

Of course, anger is the third phase of the grieving process. It comes after denial (no, Eddie's not dead, I just haven't found him yet) and bargaining (if I can find Eddie alive, I promise I'll be a better wife), and before the final phase, which is acceptance (OK, Eddie's dead, my life continues, so what's next?). But this natural flow of grief is aided and abetted in ways that can be hidden or misunderstood.

There is, for example, the case of the federal Victim Compensation Fund. Here is a resource meant to ease the hardship of victims' families and to avoid litigation. This was supposed to be a win-win situation for which we, the victims' families, were supposed to feel grateful. Instead, we are frustrated and hurt, our emotions blithely interpreted by Rall and others as greedy and ungrateful.

The problem? As Kenneth Feinberg, special master of the fund, blundered along, organizing the federal relief effort while fielding ethical questions from the media, he failed to work around the shortcomings of the Air Transportation Safety and System Stabilization Act (H.B. 2926), the statute that created the fund. Didn't anyone think of using a calculator? The math is simple. When you subtract the statute's enumerated setoffs -- Social Security, workers' compensation, 401Ks, life insurance, etc. -- from Feinberg's average $1.6 million award, it's easy to come up with nothing.

And so with the media cameras rolling, victims' families foamed at the mouth and the American public watched in disgust. With all the millions in donations that America made on their behalf, along with this federal handout of $1.6 million per customer, how could these newly rich whiners complain? Rall's cartoon widow exemplified this view: Knowing that her dead husband will never come home (and not caring much about that), she cuddles up with the $3.2 million that she's received from the Red Cross.

Next Page: I am still recovering from the incompetence and insensitivity doled out by the organization

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