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AFC preview: Did you enjoy the Colts era? Because here come the Patriots again.

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Sept. 5, 2007 | Welcome to the all-gimmick Salon 2007 NFL Preview, featuring lots of gimmicks!

We'll start with the AFC today, then talk about that other conference tomorrow. First gimmick: Not even mentioning how ridiculously superior the AFC is to that other one. Second gimmick: Not even mentioning the other one.

You know, the NFC.

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AFC WEST [PERMALINK]

1. Denver Broncos (9-7, second-place tie in 2006)
A horrible offseason away from the game: Cornerback Darrent Williams was shot and killed, and running back Damien Nash collapsed and died after a charity basketball game. The Broncos will try to use the twin tragedies as motivation and inspiration this season, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't.

Football-wise, the Broncos had a good spring and summer, adding running back Travis Henry, wide receiver Brandon Stokley and tight end Daniel Graham and using the draft, rather than the Cleveland Browns discard pile, to strengthen the defense. This column makes a habit of predicting a Broncos decline, and then being wrong, though they slipped a bit last year. I think they'll overtake San Diego this time around.

Best gimmick: They reinvent themselves and contend every year.
Worst gimmick: The vaunted offensive line is in decline -- or, since this is Denver, maybe just transition.
If they were a female pop star they would be: Madonna

2. San Diego Chargers (wild card) (14-2, first place)
Look, I wouldn't have been one of those idiots calling for the Chargers to fire Marty Schottenheimer after a 14-2 season if I'd known they were going to hire Norv Turner, the NFL's prime example of the Peter Principle. He's a great offensive coordinator and a lousy head coach, as he showed in stints at the helm of Washington and Oakland.

With Philip Rivers standing behind a great line, handing off to LaDainian Tomlinson and throwing to Antonio Gates, the Chargers are loaded on offense, and Turner won't hurt there. The questions are on defense, where San Diego has a big pass rush, but may have problems replacing departed linebackers Donnie Edwards and Randall Godfrey.

Best gimmick: LaDainian Tomlinson and the most talent in the conference.
Worst gimmick: A two-time failure, third-time retread as the new head coach.
If they were a "Planet of the Apes" movie they would be: "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes"

3. Kansas City Chiefs (9-7, second-place tie, wild card)
The Chiefs made the playoffs last year by winning their last two games after a three-game skid. That may have been a last gasp. Second-year coach Herm Edwards is well into the process of turning the Chiefs from Dick Vermeil's high-flying offensive juggernaut to a defensive power that's conservative with the ball.

That's a more reliable way to contend, but in the meantime, the offensive decline appears to be moving along at a faster pace than the defensive improvement. This could be a long year in K.C. The Chiefs will give the ball to Larry Johnson a lot, and, especially given the preseason holdout that has him saying he might not be ready for Week 1, if he survives the season intact, it'll be a miracle.

Best gimmick: Playing in the same division as the Raiders
Worst gimmick: That offensive line finally got old
If they were a female pop star they would be: Britney Spears

4. Oakland Raiders (Don't ask)
Al Davis is the Beach Boys of NFL owners. He just wanders around playing his old hits now. Last year he hired his old coach Art Shell. Didn't work out. This year he's gone with a 32-year-old whiz kid, Lane Kiffin, late of USC. You might remember a couple of other fresh-faced Davis hires: John Madden and Jon Gruden. Maybe Kiffin will be another inspired choice, but there was whispering in the college ranks that he'd have been over his head as a head coach down there.

We've also heard this before: Kiffin's staff will have more autonomy from Davis than has been usual. Quarterback Daunte Culpepper will try to rebuild his career after a lost year in Miami, but only if he can beat out Josh McCown for the starting job, still up in the air with the opening game five days away.

Given Oakland's offensive line, that's one of those competitions where the winner might envy the loser. Either one will just be keeping the chair warm for JaMarcus Russell, who is still holding out and could sit out the entire year and reenter the draft in 2008. That's ordinarily a crazy thing to do, but it might be a better long-term bet for a 21st century quarterback than donning the silver and black.

Best gimmick: The defense was actually pretty good last year
Worst gimmick: Just being the Raiders
If they were a Marx Brother they would be: Gummo

Next page: The Colts and their gimmicky defensive improvement. Plus: The Patriots