King Kaufman's Sports Daily
Super Bowl XL2: 10 reasons why the Patriots can't lose, and X why the Giants can win.
Read more: Sports, Super Bowl, Football, NFL, King Kaufman, NFL Playoffs, Sports Daily
Feb. 1, 2008 | Why the New England Patriots can't lose, Reason 1: Lose? They never lose. They're 18-0. Undefeated. Nobody's ever done what they've done so far. They're indestructible.
Why the New York Giants can win, Reason I: Hang on. I have to come up with 10 reasons why the Giants can win? Are you serious? Can I count something like "Patriots might all get severe food poisoning, have to forfeit game"?
2: Tom Brady is a dreamboat. And yes, you can.
II: That's not a reason.
2: Is.
II: Well then that's my IInd reason. The Patriots are cheating cheaters who cheat, and cheaters never win, notwithstanding those 18 wins so far, achieved by cheating. By the cheaters. Who cheat.
3: The Patriots have a great offensive line, which will neutralize the pass rush that's been a key to the Giants' playoff victories so far.
III: Oh, changing the subject, I see. You want to talk about football now? Don't you know this is the Super Bowl? Football is incidental. The Pats line is great, but you're underestimating Michael Strahan and Osi Umenyiora. They'll tax that great line, force the Patriots to keep an extra man in and cut down on Brady's options and flush him from the pocket, outside of which he's ineffective.
4: You mean like they did in Week 17, when the Patriots line, now healthy, had two starters out with injuries and the Giants pass rush bumped Brady around a little but sacked him just once and "held" him to 346 yards, a cool 8.0 per throw? Brady, who is a dreamboat, is a genius at moving in the pocket to avoid even the fiercest pass rush and make his throws.
IV: Yeah, but the blueprint for beating the Patriots is to hit them hard, to play smashmouth, and that's what the Giants are best at. They're a bruising, blue-collar team.
5: Fascinating blueprint. Its success rate is 0 percent. Any chance the architect also drew up the plans for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge? Brady -- the dreamboat -- won't get rattled by the Giants big rush the way both Tony Romo of Dallas and Brett Favre of Green Bay did in the last two games.