Why I got my tubes tied at 27

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 01:20:00 +0000

When I was 7 years old, a family friend graphically described to me how she gave birth. I don't remember the exact details -- it was an awkward barrage of information about whether or not to have an epidural -- but I do remember my unambiguous response: "I'm never having kids."

I didn't say that because I was grossed out. Even as a child, I knew conventional parenthood wasn't meant to be part of my adult life. The family friend responded the same way countless people would for the next 20 years: She told me I'd change my mind when I met the right man.

In the two decades since then, the only thing that's changed is that conversations about my fertility have become even more polarized and strained. As I entered my mid- to late-20s, folks started asking when I'll start a family (as if I don't already have one). Once, a stranger at a party poked my belly and asked when I might start showing. Apparently it doesn't occur to people that asking about my fertility might be a bit invasive, akin to asking a stranger about her weight or, say, his prostate. Apparently it doesn't occur to them that I will not offer one of two palatable answers: I'll have kids soon, or I'll get around to it eventually.

Salon.com > Brittany Shoot

Why I got my tubes tied at 27