Salon.com > Darcey Steinke http://www.salon.com Wed, 22 May 2013 00:22:48 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Something to believe in http://www.salon.com/2007/04/07/easter_everywhere/ http://www.salon.com/2007/04/07/easter_everywhere/#comments Sat, 07 Apr 2007 13:04:00 +0000 http://www.salon.com/life//feature/2007/04/07/easter_everywhere One Sunday in Lent I wake with a taste of pennies in my mouth, my chest sore, a broken record of worries running through my head. I worry about money and wonder whether my daughter, Abbie, who's been struggling with her math homework, will be able to pass the third grade test. I worry about my mother, who is alone and without financial security. Panic blooms out of my chest, until I am finally so sick, I pound down the stairs and grab hold of the cold porcelain toilet.

Depression is a wilderness; the landmarks of ordinary life are torn loose from their meaning. I am in a desert like the one Jesus inhabits during Lent. In the day, I can talk myself down: I have a little money in the bank. My daughter will not fall out of the window of the apartment. But at night I can't control my thoughts. My neck is tight and my sinuses ache. Lent is nearly over and I'm annoyed with Jesus. I'm frustrated he's getting so much attention.

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