Salon.com > Debby Herbenick

It’s not an orgasm problem

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Those of us who study sex focus on specific types of sex. We ask about oral sex, vaginal sex, and increasingly we ask about anal sex. But in our scientific work – and similar to many Americans in their own sex lives – we often miss out on the rich details of sexual experience: that is, the hugs, kisses, cuddles that make sex more than just in-out-repeat. Not this new study, however, which focuses entirely on the value of sexual touching to arousal and orgasm.

Think back to the most recent time you had sex. How much did you kiss each other on the mouth, forehead or hand? Hug or spoon with your partner? Run your hands up and down one another’s back or chest? Kiss the length of your partner’s arms or legs? Did you lay your head on your partner’s chest? Did your partner run his or her fingers through your hair?

Anal sex: Science’s last taboo

Fri, 05 Oct 2012 23:30:00 +0000

That anal sex remains taboo may explain why a study about anodyspareunia – that is, pain during anal penetration – received little attention when it was published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. The study should have turned heads: It was the first research on anodyspareunia among women; it was conducted by a well-respected scientist (Dr. Aleksander Stulhofer from the University of Zagreb); and it was centered on young women and sex. That's often the kind of research that attracts media attention (Young women sext! They get pregnant! They give oral sex! You get the picture …). However, anal sex remains such a strong taboo that this otherwise important study barely turned a head.

No, really: Penises are not shrinking

Fri, 28 Sep 2012 00:00:00 +0000

I’m often struck by the different ways we talk -- and don’t talk -- about men’s and women’s genitals. Recently, when women’s reproductive parts have made the news at all, it’s been in regard to political attempts to control what happens to women’s bodies (via policies related to contraception, transvaginal ultrasounds or “legitimate rape”).

But the politics of penis size? It’s forever about size.

Days ago, a new (and, I think, seriously flawed) study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine claims – as its title says – “Women Who Prefer Longer Penises Are More Likely to Have Vaginal Orgasms (but Not Clitoral Orgasms).” Those who take the time to read the full study, however, will find that penis size doesn’t seem to be terribly important to women’s orgasms.

“No, honey, it really is OK”

Wed, 19 Sep 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Oddly enough, sleep research often focuses on individuals, even though most people sleep with a partner, pet or small child. And as anyone who has shared a bed with another living, breathing, snoring, kicking, sighing being can attest, that matters.

As a sex researcher, I’ve long found it curious that much of our research also focuses on individuals. There are good reasons for this (among others: concerns about biasing research by limiting it to partnered people; the expense of doubling sample size; challenges with data analyses; and difficulty recruiting and retaining partners). Yet, we need to understand the role of partners in people’s sexual experiences.

The need for such research is why I was thrilled to come across a recent study of men with premature ejaculation, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, in which the researchers also surveyed some of the men’s partners. I was also happy to see this study for personal reasons, as I once dated a wonderful man who experienced PE, and the lessons it taught me -- about love, sex and how people feel about their bodies -- were important ones. First, let’s talk about PE.

Science proves it: Dan Savage is right

Wed, 12 Sep 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Five years ago, sex columnist Dan Savage suggested that, when it comes to sex, we should all aim to be GGG (“good, giving, and game … Think ‘good in bed,’ ‘giving equal time and equal pleasure’ and ‘game for anything – within reason'"). Long embraced by his readers, the GGG approach now has support from a new scientific study published in the Journal of Sex Research.

Of course, we’ve known for years that technique (for example, clitoral stimulation for women, incorporating certain sexual behaviors for either sex) matters to couples. And certainly inequitable pleasure is never a good thing, even though it persists (as I discussed in last week’s column, research shows that women are particularly prone to getting shafted in the orgasm department during hookup sex).

Can hookups be more fun?

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:00:00 +0000

As a scientist who studies sex, and as a sex educator (I teach college-level human sexuality classes at Indiana University and have written the Kinsey Institute’s sex information column, and other sex columns, for the past decade), it’s my job to puzzle over sex and to find answers.

Among the numerous questions about desire/libido, penis size, lasting longer and the many variations of “am I ______” (fill in the blank with: pregnant, “normal,” bisexual, doomed to a life without sex), some of the most commonly asked questions have to do with women’s orgasm. Although orgasm isn’t everything, it’s important to most people at least some of the time. (And some women probably wish it were more important to their partners more of the time.) While scientists have uncovered a great deal about women’s orgasm, there’s still much to learn.

We “sex scientists” ask questions such as: How important is orgasm to women’s sexual pleasure and enjoyment? How important is a woman’s partner in whether she’ll experience orgasm? How much does physical technique matter? And which sexual behaviors are more likely to result in a woman basking in the glow of orgasm rather than doing without?

Best condom on the market

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 14:00:00 +0000

For condoms, the pack you should throw in your cart is the Trojan Ecstasy Ultra Ribbed.

The taboos of talking about sex and everything it entails conspire to make condoms shopping hushed, instant decisions for many people. Doing a little homework and knowing which kind to get is important because drugstore aisle shopping decisions happen in a matter of seconds – not minutes. Who wants to talk to the store clerk about their penis size? Where they’re going to do it? That they’re hoping to last longer?

Those conversations you never have with store clerks, with partners, or even with yourselves about sex, condoms, lube, toys, positions, and pleasure? They’re my daily bread as a sex researcher at Indiana University, a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, and a sex columnist/author of books like "Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction" and "Great in Bed" (to name a few).

World’s best vibrators

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 01:00:00 +0000

My favorite multi-speed vibrator for people just getting into sex toys is the Silver Bullet vibrator. It's only $10.

(Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm going to assume that if you're reading The Wirecutter for sex toy advice, you're just getting started. But we have more sophisticated recommendations later in this article, too.)

Electric vibrators are more than 100 years old. Yet they’ve only become mainstream in the past 15 years (thanks in part to the Rabbit being featured in a 1998 Sex and the City episode). And it’s only in the past decade that vibrators finally have some style rather than looking like hair dryers or cake mixers. In addition to adult bookstores, vibrators are now sold online as well as through women’s in-home sex-toy parties, drug stores, and retail chains throughout the U.S. Even Walmart sells them, albeit only tamer models.