His books quickly became hipster samizdat. Celebrities like Lou Reed, Courtney Love and Tatum O'Neal gobbled the stories like candy and eagerly volunteered to perform his works at public readings. Movie producers smelled opportunity and bought film rights to his books. The indie film "The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things," based on LeRoy's collection of stories, starring Asia Argento and featuring cameos by Peter Fonda, Winona Ryder and Marilyn Manson, opens this Friday in New York and Los Angeles. And Albert and Knoop's rock band Thistle toured the United States and Italy, thanks to lyrics by LeRoy.

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He walks onstage wearing all black, thanks the crowd, and says it's really great to be here, wherever he is. Pulling out a cigarette, he asks a guy in the front row how much he smokes. A pack and a half a day, the man answers. Hicks snorts. "You little puss -- I go through two lighters a day." He lights his cigarette, the flame adjusted to a ridiculous height, flaring like a blowtorch, and delivers a message for all the uptight, whining, prissy little nonsmokers: "Nonsmokers die ... every day." He pauses and exhales up to the ceiling. "Sleep tight."

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Boulware uses snippets of actual TV,, radio and Web site news about the Sept. 11 attacks in what the bar's Web site called his "staccato rhythmic roll" that "snared the drifting uneasiness that has befallen the country since Osama's men kicked off."

"Standing before an America: Open for Business poster, he barked satire with reflection and added spices of quiet patriotism," the site continued. "Thoughtful, and rejecting the corporate mullahs' call of Shop to Defeat Terrorism, Boulware proved he is an emerging national voice that is destined to get louder."

Boulware is a San Francisco resident and former "Naked World" columnist for Salon.

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According to James Twomey, former member of the Kenosha Unified School Board, and parent of a child who witnessed the X-rated footage, the teacher responded quickly to the situation, diving at the machine and hitting the stop button.

"This is an elementary school teacher's worst nightmare," Twomey told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

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According to the Bangkok Post, the survey conducted by Time Asia magazine questioned men and women in Hong Kong, Thailand, South Korea, Singapore and the Philippines. Respondents indicated that they all liked the missionary position best for intercourse -- apparently it's good to always keep an eye on things -- but from there on out results differed widely.

Koreans, for instance, are apparently the biggest consumers of pornography, especially among women: Nearly a third of Korean females admitted to watching porn, with 28 percent saying they had hunted for it online in the past three months. But the nation with the most eager women seems to be Singapore, where 18 percent of females say they initiate sex -- the most of any country. This statistic may shed light on the fact that Singapore also boasts the most faithful couples, with two-thirds of the men bragging that they have never strayed outside their relationships.

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According to the Japan Times, for two years the 57-year-old gynecologist has operated a free sex counseling booth for young girls, located in the corner of a burger joint. Many of his clients don't bring money or health insurance forms, so he often charges nothing for his services. But he knows his sex. He's run a clinic in Roppongi since 1977, and has seen it all, whether it's unwanted pregnancies from one-night stands or sexually transmitted diseases. The idea of a free counseling booth came to him, he says, because so many girls showed up at his clinic for treatment of STDs. The girls refer to him as "Roppongi's doctor."

"It shocks me to work as a gynecologist in Roppongi," Akaeda said, "because I see so many young girls who have crazy sex lives without any concerns about their health."

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The mayor's plan actually had a legitimate basis -- to cut down on street crime and domestic abuse. And city officials reported that throughout the "Night Without Men," crime was indeed down 25 percent from the usual Friday evening. But the most lasting impression of the chick-positive celebration was that women were astounded at the fun they had.

"It was great," 35-year-old Janeth de Martin told the Associated Press. "You had a large group of people dancing and having fun in the streets, and there was no violence like there would have been with men around."

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Sexual prudes who find solace in the censorship of suggestive popular music can now get outraged all over again. All they have to do is turn on the radio in Salvador, Brazil, where a new samba hit called "Face Slap" describes a woman who asks her lover to hit her in the face. The song has already spawned a face-slapping dance craze, heated protest and government censorship.

Performed by vocalist Alex Xela and the samba group Pagod'art, the song has infected radio stations, dance clubs and ultraloud party sound trucks. "When we make love, what does she ask for? S-S-Slap in the face," urge the lyrics. "Come on, I'll let you have it, Mama."

In nightclubs, men dance back and forth in unison, pretending to slap their female partners. The women sway left and right, reacting as if struck in the face. And in the background, the band grooves: "I'll let you have it, Mama, I'll let you have it." In essence, the song begs for controversy.

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The case, the Albuquerque Journal reports, centers around former lab technician Jiyan An and her supervisor, Robert Cary, who still is employed at Los Alamos. The two apparently began a sexual liaison while working together, but their versions of the affair from then on are drastically different.

Cary testified in a deposition that he had sex with his assistant for the first time in the summer of 1997 on Pajarito Mountain, a ski resort a few miles from the laboratory. Cary insisted that An never resisted having sex with him, and even made booty calls when her husband was out of town. He claimed they often had sex at her apartment, as her young daughter slept in the next room. The affair, in his eyes, grew more intense.

"Sometime in October 1997, Jiyan told me she wanted to leave her husband for me," testified Cary. "She told me she would give up everything for me."

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This sad scenario is becoming more and more common on the ski slopes of Iran. Since the 1979 Islamic revolution, unmarried Iranian men and women are expressly forbidden to socialize in public places. But a loophole opened after 1997, when the administration of moderate President Mohammad Khatami allowed the integration of unisex ski resorts. Seizing the opportunity, rich and single Iranians have been hitting the slopes as if they were in a swinging James Bond movie, arranging their trysts away from the annoying, conservative eyes of the government.

The government has responded with the formation of special police patrols, reported the Kayhan daily newspaper. "The trained police will warn or confront skiers over any immoral act they might witness," said the paper.

The sex-busting unit is made up of both men and women, and in theory is also supposed to assist injured skiers. But this is Iran, where nobody is allowed to have any fun, so most of the patrol's time will undoubtedly be spent interrupting the coupling of sexually frustrated snow bunnies.

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According to a report in the journal Science, the team from the Chinese Academy of Sciences in Shanghai and the Chinese University of Hong Kong examined the sex organs of rats in great detail. A filthy, greasy rodent will reproduce at the drop of a crumb, and amid this wanton and careless fornication, the rat has somehow evolved into a disease-free sex machine. So the scientists probed further, digging into the epididymis, an organ in the rat's testicles involved in sperm production. The genetic code of the epididymis contains a gene that controls a protein particle called Bin1b. Although humans and chimps have Bin1b peptide in their saliva, lungs, and urogenital tracts, which helps to fight microbes, we don't have it in our testicles.

Rats, on the other hand, appear to have iron balls. In tests conducted by the research teams, the rat's Bin1b was successful in suppressing growth of E. coli bacteria. And scientists believe this peptide may also be involved in nurturing sperm. If this Bin1b can be isolated and used as a basis for a drug for humans, it could work as a "chemical condom," acting as both contraceptive and microbicide.

Any future marketers of such a product would do well to hide the source of the new goo.

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According to the Moscow Times, it was the window displays that pushed Moscow Duma deputy Mikhail Moskvin-Tarkhanov over the edge last month. In a letter obtained by the newspaper, Moskvin-Tarkhanov complained about the windows to the head of Moscow's central administrative district, saying the building once "housed the famous Filippov's bakery and the Lady Smith cafe, opened to commemorate the Boer war." But now the club treats the public to images of men with "massive loins thrusting toward passersby." Such pictures, continued the official, reflect an "intentional perversion of neighborhood youth."

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According to a recent news report from Australia, it's business executives from the United States. The Sydney Morning Herald helpfully ran portions of an unexpurgated list of 2,000 sites most visited by American chief executives in January. The list, assembled by the Nielsen/NetRatings research firm, opens a seamy window into the surfing habits of the moguls who pull the nation's financial levers.

Sandwiched among the usual portal, news and shopping sites is wildteenvirgins.com, ranking No. 29 on the list, with 65,000 unique viewers. The teen sex site handily outpaces its competition, including sites from Bloomingdale's, Harvard University, Bloomberg News, Christianbook.com and, yes, even Salon.com. Other porn sites also ranked highly, most of them with teenage themes. But why wildteenvirgins.com? What about this site is so popular with America's cubicle-bound titans of industry?

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According to news reports in Pravda, this couple was recently admitted for what was termed a "love injury." The evening began innocently enough at the flat where the couple lived together. The woman started frying pancakes -- apparently a normal dinner choice in the Volga River basin town. During the course of the meal preparation, her mate became aroused. It may have been the warm aroma of fresh pancakes; it may have been the way her hips swayed as she flipped them. In any case, he was propelled to instigate amorous activity, specifically the reception of oral sex -- or, as Pravda described it, "French love."

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His master plan, however, didn't last long, reports Reuters. Police conducted a search of the man's office and, after coming upon his cache of nude photographs, arrested the amateur pornographer.

He was also accused of forcing the women to pay him $66 each, to compensate for the items they stole and administrative costs. But according to a statement from Vienna police, the scheme got even worse -- he refused to reimburse the store, and pocketed the money himself.

The supermarket sleazebag is 37 years old.

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The alleged pachyderm-related infidelity began last year, when the princess visited the Circus Knie on several occasions at its winter base in Switzerland. According to the Swiss daily newspaper Blick, a surreptitious relationship was struck up between Princess Stephanie and the manager of the national circus, Franco Knie, who doubles as the elephant trainer. Knie, who has been married for 14 years, supposedly was sticking his own trunk where it didn't belong.

Because all of Switzerland and the circus community are now talking about the scandal, the Knie marriage is reportedly headed south.

"Mr. Franco Knie and his wife have decided by mutual agreement to separate," said a spokesman for Circus Knie last week.

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"It is hard to come to grips with this phenomenon because women in Zambia outnumber men by almost 3 to 1," a Lusaka psychiatrist told the Panafrican News Agency. "You do not need to go far and you will find a woman."

The 25-year-old didn't find a woman. He found a dog. The animal's owner, Mr. Banda, spent several nights hearing his dog making peculiar noises from the toilet. And then one night he awoke at 1:30 a.m. to the sounds, and was convinced the dog was in pain. He burst into his bathroom to witness the scene and turned the man in to police.

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According to a report in the Apple Daily newspaper, the woman has harassed her ex for three years with phone calls. Her determined pursuit to win back his love first began in 1997, after the man, who is married and identified only as Cheung, refused to live with the woman.

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Tintin fans were horrified recently to discover the existence of a new, X-rated forgery called "Tintin in Thailand," a sleazy Bangkok adventure packed with lap dancing, gay bars and sodomy. Last week Belgian police arrested three men in connection with the forgery, and seized 650 copies of the unauthorized comic.

In a sting operation straight out of a Tom Clancy novel, undercover officers posed as potential buyers and chatted up smugglers in the town of Tournai, Belgium, near the French border. Once they had their evidence, they nabbed two of the men, and a third from Antwerp, after the bootleg publishers admitted their scheme. According to the Guardian, 1,000 copies of the comic were produced in Thailand and then shipped to Europe for resale in Belgium, where Tintin is considered a national hero.

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With the opening of its new Kunsthalle Wien building, the Museumsquartier in Vienna now becomes the world's largest museum and art complex in a country that boasts more museums per capita than any other nation. The museum clearly has money to burn on parties: It hired the services of New York artist Vanessa Beecroft to come up with something distinctive for an opening gala.

That she did. She had the museum run a classified ad seeking slim women between the ages of 18 and 35, and between 5 feet 9 inches and 6 feet tall, who were not shy about having museum-goers ogle their naked bodies. The professional and amateur models agreeing to the bizarre gig were paid about $200 each.

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