Normally, my job consisted of browsing copies of Dun & Bradstreet publications, scouring piles of annual reports and interviewing dozens of people about their companies' policies, practices and profits -- all so that my clients could keep ahead of their competition.

This time, however, I was asked to actually infiltrate the ranks of several multilevel sales companies. These companies, namely Amway, NuSkin, Avon and Mary Kay, use the term multilevel sales (instead of the more common term "pyramid scheme") in reference to the voluntary, non-salaried sales force that hawks their wares. My first assignment was to penetrate the towering powerhouse of positive pink thinking, Mary Kay Cosmetics. My client wanted to know what the recruits were getting, financially or otherwise, to maintain their high degree of loyalty and service (which resulted in considerable financial returns) to a company that didn't employ them.

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His assessment of my mother was a little inaccurate. She's not anywhere near insane. However, she is very enthusiastic. And emotional. Let's just call her passionate. His comment came after I'd related what I considered to be a flattering portrait of my mother, a story that revealed her endless love and devotion. The story involved my mother, a cat named Muffin and a flower bed on a rainy spring night the year before.

I was a freshman in college when I got the call: "Kristina, it's time. We have to put Muffin down. She's starting to feel the pain." My mother stifled a sob and then was silent. Muffin had given us both years of faithful affection and was one of the few beings in life that had never let us down. After blowing her nose and clearing her throat, she remembered, "Oh, by the way, your father's tuition check bounced again. You'll have to go beg the dean to let you stay this semester."

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