Is Bush a stuffed pussy?

Tue, 15 Apr 2003 17:16:00 +0000

I was walking to my friend's house recently, thinking about the statue of Saddam that had just toppled over in Baghdad, and how fitting it was that it was hollow inside. I passed the pet store on her corner when I noticed a brilliant tabby napping in the window. Aww. I tap, but the cat's so blissed out it doesn't wake. I'm thinking, lovely you, so used to "tap-tap-tapping" by bothersome wankers, you're quite numb to it. So I go inside the store because I must touch the cute kitty cat, give myself a bit of calm amid my anxiety about the war.

The owner's wearing a grin.

"Coming in to pet the cat?"

"Yeah," I say, shrugging shyly.

"Go on, he loves to be petted."

So I pet the little cat. But when my hand touches it, the little cat feels stiff, and I scream. For a second I thought it might have baked dead in the sun, and the owner didn't quite know it yet.

"Your cat," I whimpered, "is dead, I think."

"No, no, no, it's not a real cat. It's fake! Relax."

I was appalled by him, and this, this, this ... thing.

Salon.com > Lisa Gabriele

Is Bush a stuffed pussy?