Martha Stewart kicks ass

Tue, 07 Nov 2000 20:30:00 +0000

If Martha Stewart sold routers instead of linens, would the financial press take notice? They sure aren't doing it now.

Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia announced third quarter earnings Thursday, but only a handful of publications reported it and only CNN's "Moneyline" interviewed her. One article got her last name wrong. Maybe they think Stewart's a big joke, but I'm sure she's laughing all the way to the bank.

It's not clear why they were so unimpressed. Her numbers were strong, exceeding analysts' expectations: Revenue doubled to $69 million for the quarter, up 24 percent over the same period last year. Her company is even profitable, for crying out loud! In the current climate of disappointing earnings, slow growth and outright bankruptcies, her performance is even more astounding. And she's in a notoriously fickle industry as well. In short, she kicked ass.

For many of us, the news isn't surprising at all. We've known about Martha's prowess for quite some time. As evidence, I'm heading out this afternoon to look at those pots and pans she's been hawking on television commercials. And believe me, that's no easy feat considering my last experience in that bastion of American discount stores, K-Mart. After wandering fruitlessly through aisle after aisle of that time-warped, circa 1950s store, it took about 20 minutes to pay for my one lousy purchase.

Welcome to the curriculum from hell

Wed, 13 Sep 2000 19:29:00 +0000

By the time their kids have reached high school, most parents have experienced their fair share of wacky school programs. I have personal recollections of the self-esteem era; the learning-through-osmosis craze; and the "Let's scare the hell out of them," anti-drug death march led by Nancy Reagan. Yet, even as a veteran of institutional goofiness, I was caught off guard -- floored, to be honest -- when "Hotel California," the song by the Eagles, was the basis for an assignment in my kid's English class. Understand: This was not the craven act of one renegade teacher; this was the second time this had happened in two separate schools, with two separate teachers.

I'm still not sure how it happened; perhaps some misguided fan ended up working in the school superintendent's office. Can't blame it on the teachers -- both of them are too young to know any better. And so I'm left shaking my head, wondering if other parents find this disturbing. I wonder if other parents worry that they could end up paying tuition for UCLA's film school only to discover that their kids are studying "The Brady Bunch" as cinematic oeuvre.

Salon.com > Sara Hazlewood

Martha Stewart kicks ass

Welcome to the curriculum from hell