That doesn't sound at all like the Rich Blow I know. True, we've only met twice and never had a conversation as such. But for several heady years in the turbulent late 1980s, we both worked for Regardie's, a business magazine based in Washington, D.C.

I have to admit, I was a bit taken aback when I first laid eyes on Rich at the magazine's offices. Photographs do not do the man justice, although I haven't actually seen photographs of him. He stood about 6 feet tall, maybe even 6-foot-1, with a V-shaped torso slimming to a slender waist around which was wrapped a simple leather belt. His pressed white shirt was casually tucked into his khaki pants, which were situated directly below the leather belt. He had the delicate hands of a concert pianist, which tapered, in a somewhat W-shaped fashion, to the short, stubby fingers of a plumber.

Continue Reading...

Our issue kicks off with a gritty investigative piece on the current "witch hunt" of priests, written by Rafael C. O'Brien, until recently the pastor of Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church in Greenwich, Conn. With American cardinals descending on Rome at the order of His Holy Father, Pope John Paul II, this piece is a must-read. O'Brien's meticulous reporting documents how the Catholic hierarchy is offering up priests as "sacrificial lambs" to protect the church from the widening scandal. With help from a "Deep Throat" source high in the Vatican, O'Brien pieces together a tale of lies, lies, more lies and betrayal. What you read may shock you. But you will never forget it.

Continue Reading...

Drugs, and the people who love them, were frequent topics in the Oval Office around the end of Nixon's first term. Nixon, in fact, can rightfully be called the father of the war on drugs. On June 17, 1971, (coincidentally, a year to the day before the Watergate break-in), Nixon announced an "all-out offensive" on drug abuse, which the president termed "America's Public Enemy No. 1." He requested $155 million from Congress, and created the Special Action Office for Drug Abuse Prevention in the White House.

In the months leading up to the announcement, Nixon solicited opinions from various drug "experts." One of them was daytime talk show host Art Linkletter, whose daughter, famously, had jumped out of a window, supposedly because of the influence of LSD. But like many people in Nixon's inner circle, Linkletter wasn't above bending the truth to fit his own purposes.

Continue Reading...

An adult Web site called FrugalJohn, billing itself as "Where cheap bastards find quality ladies," has become a favorite of Silicon Valley horn dogs hard hit by the dot-com downturn.

FrugalJohn features a clickable directory of more than 80 female escorts and full-body massage providers whose going rate -- no more than $200 an hour -- significantly undercuts the $300-and-up rate typical in the Bay Area during boom times. It's the sex trade's version of the auto industry's zero percent financing, and customers are lining up to drive these babies off the lot. But unlike some used car dealerships, the site is careful to stay this side of the law. (The site's disclaimer states, among other things, that "time together may include services such as erotic dancing, modeling, or sensuous massage. Nothing else is contracted for, nor is it requested to be contracted for, or compensated for in any manner.")

Continue Reading...

Common Signs That Your Child May Have Joined the Taliban

When teens start to "experiment" with the Taliban, there are usually warning signs. Unfortunately, many parents write off these signals as normal adolescent rebellion. Often, parents will stay in this state of denial until their son (or, increasingly, daughter) is arrested by U.S. Special Forces and put on trial. By then, it's too late. Just ask John Walker Lindh's parents.

If your child exhibits two or more of these symptoms, chances are he's already a member of the Taliban:

Dramatic changes in clothing or hairstyle

Sudden bursts of anger

Loss of interest in popular music

Really dirty face

Can't keep a girlfriend/boyfriend

Poor grades, especially in Civics

Bloodshot eyes

Wears fake beard (boys) or full-body veil (girls)

Anti-American slogans in notebooks and/or school yearbook

Continue Reading...

"It seems like everyone's looking for work and no one's hiring," says Nilsson, while poring over employment leads at a job referral center in New Haven. "Thank God I managed to attract the attention of these nice folks."

Nilsson pointed to the dozen or so reporters and cameramen crowded around her as she made her way around the job referral center. Television lights shone brightly as Nilsson filled out an employment form, talked briefly to a career counselor and shook her head sadly while scanning the current job postings. She later repeated the head shake several times for a second group of cameramen.

"They've been wonderful," Nilsson says of the media pack. "CNN went along with me to two job interviews yesterday. Newsweek helped drop my kids off at school. Some guy from the Christian Science Monitor is taking us out to dinner tonight, and he's paying."

Continue Reading...

"Regardless of the format, this DVD clearly demonstrates bin Laden's callous disregard for human life," Secretary of State Colin Powell said. "But I have to admit he did a really nice job of cleaning up the sound. It really sparkles."

The bin Laden DVD contains several extras not found on the original videotape, including more than 30 minutes of never-before-seen footage. One segment shows additional footage of the visit to the site of a downed U.S. helicopter in Ghazni province, with a commentary track providing technical details of the aircraft. The helicopter scene, which in the original video was sandwiched between two segments featuring bin Laden, has been moved to the beginning of the DVD, clearly the director's original intent. Other scenes include footage of bin Laden's entire meal with the Saudi sheik (including appetizer), and an extended "dream sequence" featuring digitally animated renderings of the dreams and visions described by the participants.

Continue Reading...

Identify which of the three books contains the following passages:

1. The fearful and unbelieving and the abominable and murderers and whoremongers and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.

2. Endless ruin has overtaken the enemy, you have uprooted their cities; even the memory of them has perished.

3. Anyone who dares to lay hands on the highest image of the Lord commits sacrilege against the benevolent creator of this miracle and contributes to the expulsion from paradise.

4. We will drive the guilty to hell thirsty.

5. He that believeth not shall be damned.

6. As for these towns, we destroyed them when they acted unjustly, and we have appointed a time for their destruction.

7. Almighty God, bless our arms when the time comes; be just as thou hast always been; judge now whether we be deserving of freedom; Lord, bless our battle.

Continue Reading...

All praise and glory to the Most Holy One from whom all mercy flows. Last night I reach my mother on the heretic satellite phone to say that I will be out of touch for a while. The woman tells me I'm never in touch anyway, so what's the difference. Be gone, you bitch, I say. That makes you a son of a bitch, she replies. May God in His Infinite Mercy subject this woman to everlasting torment in the next world, all praise be to Him.

September 11

Praise be to God, the Cherisher and Sustainer. On the evening of this fateful day in which America has been filled with horror from north to south and east to west, I have a strange dream. I am piloting an airplane into the infidels' tallest building. As I approach, I see an imposing figure standing in one of the windows. It is my long dead father, Muhammad bin-'Awad bin-Laden. "Why, Osama, why?" he implores just as I strike the building. Then I remember: He was a building contractor.

September 15

Continue Reading...

I
The Dow that can be named
is not the eternal Dow
It is the Industrial Average.
All things arise from the Dow
The S&P 500, the Russell 2000, the Wiltshire 5000
It is the Great Mother of all indices

II
Rising and falling is the essence of Dow
Stand before it and there is no beginning.
Follow it and there is no end.
Try to grasp it, and it drops more than 100 points
in heavy trading.

III
Advances and declines arise together.
Highs and lows rest upon each other;
Bear follows bull
Bust follows boom
This is the Eternal Way
But few investors understand its essence.

IV
The ancient Master
Is one with the Dow
For want of a better name
We call him Greenspan.
The Master
acts without speaking
Quarter point, quarter point, quarter point
Where will it end?
Mystery of mysteries

Continue Reading...

"I feel good," the president told reporters several hours after the operation. Bush then twitched noticeably. "I mean, I feel well," he said.

Doctors say the implant is performing flawlessly, although they're trying to limit the number of shocks Bush receives to fewer than 100 a day. The surgery came barely a week after Vice President Dick Cheney was fitted with a device to regulate his irregular heartbeat.

The White House portrayed last night's medical procedure as an "insurance policy" against further problems for the president. At a news conference at George Washington University Hospital, where the operation was performed, doctors downplayed the seriousness of Bush's condition. The periodic electric jolts from the implant, physicians say, will have minimal effect on the president.

Continue Reading...

From: White House Travel Office
Re: Your first-ever trip to Europe

Dear Mr. President:

On the eve of your historic five-day, five-nation trip to Europe, we've prepared this backgrounder to help make your journey an enjoyable and successful one.

Before laying out your itinerary, a few general comments. First, relax. Even though you've never been to Europe before, you'll find it's very much like America, only smaller and less advanced. There are McDonald's in every European country, American movies playing in all the theaters and Marlboro is the No. 1 cigarette on the continent. Although most Europeans speak a foreign language, many can be convinced to speak English if you're persistent and speak slowly and loudly. Especially loudly.

One of the biggest differences between America and Europe is the money. Europe has less of it. Also, European money looks very different than American money, and some of it isn't even green. Try not to refer to it as "funny money," as this is a sore subject with many Europeans. Your American Express card will be honored in all of the countries you are visiting, except possibly for Slovenia (we're still checking on this). If you find yourself without cash or credit cards, many European merchants will accept payment in Marlboros.

Continue Reading...

Dick Cheney's 10 tips to conserve energy

Tip No. 1: Replace incandescent bulbs with much brighter incandescent bulbs.

A 250-watt bulb burns brighter than a 100-watt bulb: a lot brighter. Don't listen to the "dim bulbs" who insist that lower-wattage light bulbs are somehow more energy efficient. There's nothing efficient about staggering across a dark room bumping into furniture. Also, remember that 30 percent of the energy consumed by a light bulb is expended when the bulb is switched on. Keeping your lights on all the time is a simple but effective way to conserve energy.

Tip No. 2: Turn the air conditioning down to "medium" when you're not in the room.

Continue Reading...

"All of Tyler's varying and sundry friends was making fun of the way he talked," Shaw says. "I am not a revengeful person, but I couldn't let this behaviorism slip into acceptability. This is not the way America is about."

Shaw and her son are two of a surprising number of Americans who speak a form of nonstandard English that linguists have dubbed "Bushonics," in honor of the dialect's most famous speaker, President George W. Bush. The most striking features of Bushonics -- tangled syntax, mispronunciations, run-on sentences, misplaced modifiers and a wanton disregard for subject-verb agreement -- are generally considered to be "bad" or "ungrammatical" by linguists and society at large.

But that attitude may be changing. Bushonics speakers, emboldened by the Bush presidency, are beginning to make their voices heard. Lisa Shaw has formed a support group for local speakers of the dialect and is demanding that her son's school offer "a full-blown up apologism." And a growing number of linguists argue that Bushonics isn't a collection of language "mistakes" but rather a well-formed linguistic system, with its own lexical, phonological and syntactic patterns.

Continue Reading...

"The ability to understand current drug-related street terms is an invaluable tool for law enforcement," intones the introduction, sounding like a cop with mirrored sunglasses giving a lecture about drugs, which may in fact be the original source. "A single term or similar terms may refer to various drugs or have different meanings, reflecting geographic and demographic variations in slang."

Continue Reading...

In McGwire's case, at least he's put his raging hormones to good use. While closing in on baseball's single-season home run record, with 59 at last count, the St. Louis Cardinals' first baseman has been taking an over-the-counter testosterone-producing strength enhancer known as androstenedione. The supplement, a weak cousin to anabolic steroids, is legal to take in baseball, but has been banned by the Olympics, the National Football League and the National Collegiate Athletic Association in the belief that it gives users an unfair advantage over their less-pumped-up competitors.

Androstenedione isn't the sole competitive advantage squirreled away in McGwire's locker. For at least three years, the slugger has been pounding back daily doses of creatine, a dietary supplement used to build muscle mass and increase endurance. Strength gains of 5 percent or more have been reported in studies of athletes using creatine, and the powdered supplement is currently the rage among college and pro players.

Continue Reading...

Enclosed is your 1997 Tax Information Packet. As Acting Commissioner of the IRS, thank you for making this nation's tax system the most effective system of voluntary compliance in the world. As you may be aware, this has been a difficult year for Internal Revenue. Congressional hearings have exposed serious abuses involving a very small number of well-meaning but misguided tax compliance agents. Please accept our sincere apologies. A bill recently passed by the House Ways and Means Committee has called for sweeping changes in the way the IRS conducts business. In the meantime, we'll be doing everything we can to make paying your federal income tax fast, fair and -- dare I say -- fun. Here are answers to some frequently asked questions, highlighting the many ways we're putting the "service" back into the Internal Revenue Service:

I'm about to be audited by the IRS. What should I do?

Continue Reading...

There's never been a better time to pose that question. Just make sure you're not in a hurry for an answer.

To begin, you may want to climb online and consult Yahoo, which currently has local sites in eight U.S. cities, plus a "Get Local" feature pegged to 40,000 zip codes nationwide. This will help you learn that "The Empire Strikes Back" is playing continuously at every multiplex in town.

Next, click over to DigitalCity, America Online's arts and entertainment offering -- now in 13 cities, expanding to about 20 by the end of the year, and rolling out a Web version. Oh boy -- another new Thai restaurant with a 20-minute waiting list!

Then shuffle over to Citysearch, which offers local guides for five cities and plans to be in as many as 30 medium-sized towns by year's end. Hey, I didn't know Bob Seger was still touring -- guess he's already blown the dough from those "Like a Rock" truck ads.

Continue Reading...

According to the newsletter Corporate Giving Watch, it's none other than Microsoft Corp. The software colossus, which devotes much of its energy trying to pauperize its competitors, seems to have a soft spot for those already poor, handing out a total of $73.2 million to charities in fiscal 1995. (The 1996 figures, in characteristic Microsoft fashion, are shipping late.) That ranks Microsoft as the top U.S. corporation in giving gifts to charity, nosing out such upstanding corporate alms-givers as Johnson & Johnson ($72.8 million), IBM ($72.2 million), Eli Lilly & Co. ($71.9 million) and Hewlett-Packard Co. ($71.2 million).

News outlets reporting the figures portrayed Microsoft as the model Corporate Citizen, a company doing well by doing good. "Microsoft shares wealth," headlined the San Francisco Examiner, in a typical treatment. Microsoft has accepted the accolades with blushing modesty. "It's been a long-standing tradition at Microsoft to be involved in philanthropy," says Microsoft spokesperson John Pinette. "That goes back to before the company was founded, when Bill [Gates'] mother was on the board of the United Way."

Continue Reading...

Let me take this opportunity to assure you that this merger was undertaken solely with you, our valued customer, in mind. As one of the largest financial institutions in the world, Monolithic Bank is now in a position to serve you better than ever. Here's how:

Absolutely Positively Totally Free Checking

Enjoy the convenience of Absolutely Positively Totally Free Checking, a Monolithic Bank exclusive. Just keep a minimum of $10,000 in a savings, money market and time deposit account (Or $30,000 in any one of them), and your first three checks each month are absolutely, positively, totally free!

Choose from a wide range of designer check colors, including White, Cream, Albino, Lily-of-the-Valley, Vanilla and Ivory. And each check is distinctively personalized with your signature at the bottom.

Continue Reading...