Sobbing toddlers, husbands with no hair on their knees and breezes up their freezer sections, windows lined with dark towels and animals with oral fixations -- we at Mothers Who Think believe each of these poor wretches deserves a prize, don't we, ladies?
But you? No, you say -- only one of our contestants lives up to your harsh appraisal. To discover which of our finalists meets your critical standards and stands crowned before you, click on their names and check out yon Applause-o-meter.
And if you secretly yearn for the title of queen, send in your story. Our deadline for submissions is Oct. 6. Send them in to firstname.lastname@example.org. Who knows, you could be the next mother worthy of royal treatment.
To see how each contestant fared on our Applause-o-meter, click on the name.
1st RUNNER UP: Arline Green
+2nd RUNNER UP: Jennifer Denny
+THE WINNER: Catherine A. Salton