Did you ever see the president stop beating his wife?

Following revelations that Kenneth Starr's grand jury interrogation of Sidney Blumenthal included such questions as 'Does the President's religion include sexual intercourse?,' Todd Gitlin modestly proposes a few more humdinger questions for the independent counsel.


Todd Gitlin
July 2, 1998 11:00PM (UTC)

"Have you ever discussed with Mrs. Clinton whether the President has a sex addiction?"

"Does the President believe that oral sex is sex?"

"Does the President's religion include sexual intercourse?"

-- Questions put to presidential aide Sidney Blumenthal by prosecutors Jackie Bennett, Jr. and Solomon L. Wisenberg before the Washington grand jury, as reported in the New York Times on June 29 and 30, 1998.

Advertisement:

..............................

Mr. Blumenthal, did the president ever tell you that he has stopped beating his wife?

With your own eyes, did you ever see the president stop beating his wife?

Did Mrs. Clinton ever tell you that the president had stopped beating her?

Did the president ever tell you that he has stopped beating anyone else's wife?

Have you seen the president stop beating anyone else's wife?

If the president had stopped beating anyone's wife, would you necessarily have seen him do so?

Has Mrs. Clinton ever asked you whether you have stopped beating your own wife?

Advertisement:

Did Mr. Clinton ever stop beating your wife?

Did Mrs. Clinton ever tell you she had evidence that Mr. Clinton had beaten anyone's wife?

Did Mrs. Clinton refer to any records she had kept of Mr. Clinton's activity with respect to anyone's wife?

Did the president ever tell you that he has stopped having sexual intercourse with anyone else's wife?

Did the president ever discuss with you the ideal frequency of sexual intercourse?

Does Mrs. Clinton's religion include sexual intercourse?

Did the president ever threaten to beat anyone's wife?

Did Steven Brill ever tell you that he had beaten anyone's wife?

Advertisement:

Did the president ever tell you that his religion forbids beating anyone's wife?

Did the president ever say in your hearing, "Take my wife -- please"?

Did you ever see the president wink while discussing a visit to Santa Monica?

Did you ever see the president wink or nod while referring to "affairs of state"?

Advertisement:

Has the president ever used what is commonly called a four-letter word in your presence?

Has the president ever discussed with you the rightward-leaning aspect of his masculine member?

Has the president ever discussed with you the rightward-leaning aspect of the independent prosecutor?

Advertisement:

Has the president, in your hearing, ever cast aspersions on the sexual proclivities of the independent prosecutor?

Has the president ever told you that size matters?

Has the president ever told you that size doesn't matter?

Has the president ever made obscene gestures in your presence?

Advertisement:

Has the president ever discussed his toilet training with you?

Has the president ever discussed Mrs. Clinton's toilet training with you?

Has the president ever discussed with you his participation in the toilet training of his daughter?

Has the president ever discussed your own toilet training with you?

Advertisement:

Has the president ever discussed any toilet training whatsoever with you?

Would you comment on the president's personal hygiene?

Does the president believe that flossing is dental hygiene?

Have the president and Mrs. Clinton read the Bible together in your presence?

Advertisement:

Would you characterize their demeanor on such occasions?

Would you call it reverent?

Did Mrs. Clinton ever tell you that of all the songs by the Eagles, the president most preferred "Lyin' Eyes"?

Did Mrs. Clinton ever tell you that of all the songs by the Eagles, the president least preferred "Lyin' Eyes"?

Advertisement:

Did you ever see Mr. Clinton run screaming from the room at the sound of the song "Lyin' Eyes"?

Did the president ever tell you that of all the songs of Frank Sinatra he most favors "My Way"?

Did the president ever caution you, "Don't ask, don't tell"?

Have you ever discussed with Mrs. Clinton whether the president has an addiction to potato chips?

Advertisement:

Have you ever discussed with Mrs. Clinton whether the president has an addiction to Big Macs?

Have you ever discussed with Mrs. Clinton whether the president has an addiction to french-fried potatoes?

Have you ever discussed with Mrs. Clinton whether the president has an addiction to any foodstuffs whatsoever?

Have you ever discussed with Mrs. Clinton whether the president has an addiction to any controlled substances?

Have you ever discussed with Mrs. Clinton whether the president has an addiction to any substances whatsoever?

Have you ever discussed with Mrs. Clinton whether the president has an addiction to golf?

Have you ever discussed with Mrs. Clinton whether the president has an addiction to any activities whatsoever?

Has the president ever discussed with you the shape of any female person?

Has the president ever discussed with you the shape of his office?

Has the president ever discussed with you the shape of the nation?

Did Mr. Matt Drudge ever ask you if you had stopped beating your wife?


Todd Gitlin

Todd Gitlin teaches at Columbia University, writes regularly for BillMoyers.com and Tablet, and is the author, most recently, of Occupy Nation: The Roots, the Spirit, and the Promise of Occupy Wall Street.

MORE FROM Todd Gitlin

Related Topics ------------------------------------------

Bill Clinton Love And Sex Sex

BROWSE SALON.COM
COMPLETELY AD FREE,
FOR THE NEXT HOUR

Read Now, Pay Later - no upfront
registration for 1-Hour Access

Click Here
7-Day Access and Monthly
Subscriptions also available
No tracking or personal data collection
beyond name and email address

•••






Fearless journalism
in your inbox every day

Sign up for our free newsletter

• • •