How much wood?

Jack makes his porn debut and discovers the pleasures and pressures of on-the-clock knocking.

By Susie Bright
May 1, 1999 8:00PM (UTC)
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In my last column, I introduced the plans for the porn-star debut of my good friend Jack, who, it must be said, had been obsessing about this moment with equal parts dread and glee. Our comrades Jackie Strano and Shar Rednour are making a sequel to their underground hit from last year, "Bend Over Boyfriend," and they asked Jack to star in their alternative look at men and women fooling around with mutual anal sex.

Jack was green-lighted by the directors based on his entirely unproven belief that he could provide erections for their camera at the crack of a starting board. But could he actually do it? I told Jack that I was sympathetic to how this experiment in personal performance art would turn out, and that I wanted to get his story, as bold and unsparing as Barbara Walters would never dare to be.


Jack's scene required him to "show wood" in the following order: First, they wanted to see Chloe penetrating him anally with a dildo in a harness. Then, they wanted him to have vaginal intercourse with her, and finally, bum-fuck her for the grand finale. Jack said that he doubted he would be hard when she was fucking him, although he was sure it would feel good and he might even have an orgasm while semi-soft. "When I'm getting fucked like that," he explained, "it feels like I have a giant clit that's getting rubbed all over from behind." Yes, that sounds very nice -- but could Mr. Feelgood rebound out of the big clit afterglow and sport a hard-on for the next sequence?

Jack spent some time the day before the shoot talking to his on-screen lover about how she likes to work. "Chloe says I'm V-free," he announced to me proudly. "That means I'm performing without using Viagra; I'm old-school. Only the veterans work without Viagra now, the young ones are just popping pills and getting automatically hard. But Chloe says she likes men who are V-free because she says, 'That's the way I can tell I'm doing my job.'"

Wow, there's the end of a dynasty, I thought, now anyone can be a porn stud -- another elite destroyed by technology.


Chloe was nice, down-to-earth and much smaller than Jack. She had a body like a ballerina, which is exactly what she was trained to be. I've noticed a lot of women athletes and professional dancers ended up working in porn. It's not just their body types, it's their stamina and competitive, "no pain, no gain" spirit.

If you saw Chloe in real life, you might be tempted to ply her with chocolate milkshakes and cheeseburgers. But on film or video, she loses her skinniness and appears curvier.

Jack agonized about his physique's opposite effect. In real life he looks like the jock that he is, but in pictures, he's -- as Jackie put it -- "thick." She said it with butch praise in her voice, as a nod to his masculinity, but Jack groaned. "What if I look like some overweight gorilla devouring this little girl?"


Shar and Jackie reassured him that there were ways to make everybody look beautiful, or at least realistically fetching. Designed as a slice of sexual life, the movie featured an all-amateur cast with the exception of Chloe. And given the fantasies of some of the volunteer actors, it's clear they would end up with some original footage. Few screenwriters could have dreamed this stuff up.

One of the actors, who was a black sheep in a family of cops, wanted to perform a fantasy scene in which he would arrest his girlfriend for streetwalking, but she would turn the tables on him and fuck him in the ass before they ever made it back to the precinct. He showed up for the shoot in full uniform, with badge, nightstick, revolver, handcuffs -- the whole "NYPD Blue" regalia. He wanted to use every bit of it as an erotic prop, dildo or restraining device.


"There was only one thing he wouldn't do," Shar said, "and that was when we put a doughnut on his girlfriend's rubber cock and asked him to eat it off of her."

"Was that going too far?" I asked. "Was that the symbol of disrespect he thinks the police academy will never forgive?"

"It's better than that," Shar said. "He's a vegan. He won't eat doughnuts under any circumstances."


Finally, last weekend was Jack's big day, and in what was an unusual situation for the porn world, he was the only man on the set. That was actually one of the things he liked about it. "I really love having sex while other people are doing important things around me. It's even better when it's lesbians who all are doing very important things."

"I don't get it," I laughed, "is it the slacker fantasy, or what?"

"Haven't you ever been at work and just felt like you'd rather be having sex? It can totally preoccupy you in a boring job."


"Yeah, that's true," I said. "I remember when I was housecleaning and no one would be home -- I'd lay down my broom, put on one of their records that I'd liked and go masturbate in their bed. Or even better were the times I was hired to clean up an empty apartment for the next tenant. I got it on with a house painter one time like that."

I asked Jack to tell me what went through his mind during the sex scenes.

"I liked the attention, that I was special in their eyes -- but every minute that went by I realized it wasn't so much like sex, it was more like acting. The whole timing of what they wanted on camera had nothing to do with my body's timing. Chloe would push my dick inside her and say, 'OK, we've got the IPS' (initial penetration shot), and everyone would be thrilled -- but then we had to go straight from that to this full-tilt fucking, with not nearly the build-up you would have in real life.

"Then I'd come out of her, and she would go down on me, or start to give me a hand-on to get me hard again. I showed her how I liked her to stroke my cock, and as soon as I'd get hard again it was time for the next position. When we were done with all the fucking, she asked me to fist her so she could come, and that was intense -- she started coming like a rocket from the moment I got my whole hand inside her."


The day after the shoot, Shar showed Jack and me an unedited clip from that very scene, with Jack literally holding little Chloe on his big hand, and her eyes rolling back in her head as she orgasms. "Can you feel it? Can you feel it?" she says to him, and he flushes all over.

"Wow, that part's really hot," I said, "both of you are literally changing color. This is my favorite part and it's not even a wood section -- you did really good, Jack."

Doughnuts all around -- this was a great effort, and I can't wait to see how it all turns out. Thank you to all the crew and cast who let me be the fly on the wall, and allowed me to listen to some of the vulnerable bits of what never gets advertised on an X-rated box cover.

Susie Bright

Susie Bright is the author of the new book "Full Exposure" and many other books, and the editor of the "Best American Erotica" series. For more columns by Bright, visit her website.

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