Drama Queen for a Day: Mr. Mom

Missing nipples and forgotten diapers: Vote for Dad's worst domestic moment.

Salon Staff
June 15, 1999 8:00PM (UTC)

Not since Michael Keaton fed his toddler chili in "Mr. Mom" have so many parents (and adult offspring) cringed at the spectacle of domestic inexperience. After hearing your harrowing tales of dads' well-meaning mess-making, we say, "Let the cleanup begin!"

But first we must address the many readers who were displeased with the subject of this particular Drama Queen contest: Dad's worst parenting moment. Those of you familiar with Drama Queen for a Day know of our grand tradition of rewarding you for your tales of less-than-perfect parenting or rants about life's bizarre twists and turns. It was not our intent to scrutinize and deplore the deficiencies of dads who care for their children, but rather to highlight the many small sacrifices of sanity parenting requires. We think you'll find the nominated stories both familiar and hilarious, no matter what your parent-gender status.


Take the tale of the father who accidentally set the house on fire while cooking breakfast. As his grown daughter now puts it, "Somewhere between the bacon and the eggs, something went terribly wrong." Then there's the story of the dutiful man giving his parents a tour of San Francisco only to find out that he had forgotten the nipple for his child's baby bottle. After searching up and down Union Square and learning a bit of conversational Mandarin, this dad found the necessary nipple at a Chinese drug store.

We also received this little rhyme from reader Mark Banks: "Kids and moms have all the fun /A daddy's work is never done!" Indeed, a dad's day at the helm of the mother ship can take its toll when you consider the possibilities: Dressing Junior in record time only to find out he's got his overalls on backwards; discovering you're out of toilet paper and you have no idea where the extra rolls might be stored; dealing with a wary mom who keeps calling home when she claims to be mired in work or enjoying a day off.

Today we bring you three stories of fatherly domestic adventure that took a messy turn. Vote for your favorite by June 21. The winner will receive a $100 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble online, and the two runners up will receive $50 gift certificates. Plus, all three finalists will receive videos from Globalstage.


Salon Staff

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