Clitoral creams and sex cues

NexMed contributes to female orgasm with topical cream; humming helps, too.

Published December 3, 1999 5:00PM (EST)

Dec. 3, 1999

The tiny, tingling clitoris received sensitive attention this week from pharmacologists and sex educators. Everyone wants to rub it just right.

NexMed Inc. announced Wednesday that its topical Femprox cream had successfully aroused 18 female subjects between 18 and 61 years old. The aphrodisiac jelly caused an "increase in blood flow through the major arterial blood vessels" resulting in clitoral and labial engorgement, notes the Business Wire.

The exciting new orgasm elixir was created to steam up the private parts of women suffering from female sexual arousal disorder. Forty-seven million American women (75 percent post-menopausal) are afflicted with this frigid ailment that inhibits pudenda blood flow and lubricating secretions.

Femprox turns on the titillation by inviting increased circulation into genitalia flesh that is lathered with the goo. Even applying it is obviously more erotic than taking oral medications, like Viagra. Additional clinical experiments with this climactic curative will commence soon.

Humming a sweet song to a shy clitoris is also arousing, claims Lou Paget, author of the upcoming book "How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure." In an article in this month's Men's Health, she claims that a tune's vibrations "transmit sensation to a wider area than through simple stroking." Slowly and softly humming with your lips puckered lightly on the outer edges of the love-nub is highly recommended to any carnal crooner, even if his or her voice is as wretched as mine.

The angle of the inserted dick-dangle is also crucial in clitoris-cuddling, notes Paget. In the missionary position, she suggests that the man instigate penetration with his hips high above the woman, so that the downward thrust slithers across the happy button. Putting a pillow under the dear lady's derriere to tilt her pelvis back also places the hot-dot in the poking path.

"Don't be surprised if your efforts produce more pleasure than you bargained for," Paget seductively warns us.

By Hank Hyena

Hank Hyena is a former columnist for SF Gate, and a frequent contributor to Salon.

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