"The Cow is OK"

How a bovine shut down a Florida highway.

J. A. Getzlaff
January 5, 2000 10:00PM (UTC)

DeBary, Fla. -- Central Florida's Interstate 4, which runs along the
state's east coast, became an unholy mess recently, all due to an
oblivious bovine.

According to an Associated Press report, it all started when cell
phone-toting commuters noticed a lone cow grazing in a 2 foot deep bog.
Was she stuck in the muck? Or -- oh God -- drowning? The concerned
citizens began to call the Florida Highway Patrol, demanding that
something be done.


The FHP rushed to the scene and concluded that the animal was -- hungry.
She had four stomachs to fill, and water or no water, she was going to
fill them.

The workers retreated, but the calls kept coming. To appease the
drivers, the FHP then erected a giant electronic sign alongside the
road. Its statement was succinct: "The Cow is OK."

The adventurous bovine, unmoved and, quite possibly, illiterate, soon
wandered on to less soggy pastures. But the sign remained, causing
motorists to slow down -- and stop -- and wonder, "What cow?"

According to the report, that second back-up stretched for miles and
lasted for hours.

J. A. Getzlaff

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