A piano teacher is suspected of molesting students on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (10 p.m. Fri., NBC). Britney Spears is host and musical guest for Saturday Night Live (11:30 p.m. Sat., NBC), and that's a little too much Britney for me. Edina and Patsy rise again (and sink back down into a drunken stupor) in a seven-hour Absolutely Fabulous Mother's Day Marathon (1 p.m. Sun., Comedy Central). On King of the Hill (7:30 p.m. Sun., Fox), a foot fetishist (guest Sydney Pollack) makes Peggy appreciate her ungainly gunboats like never before. Biography (8 p.m. Sun., A&E) has a two-hour profile of Shirley MacLaine. Only two hours? You'd think all those past lives would be worth at least a miniseries. Parker Posey guests as a spooky nanny who tries to outmother Marge in a "Hand That Rocks the Cradle" spoof episode of The Simpsons (8 p.m. Sun., Fox). On Malcolm in the Middle (8:30 p.m. Sun., Fox), Lois is laid up with the flu, so the boys give her a break, right? Wrong. The X-Files (9 p.m. Sun., Fox) has another amusing story about average folk with extraordinary powers. Does this look like a show that could be closing up shop forever next week? The new series Fan (9 p.m. Sun., VH1) profiles different music-obsessed fans each week, beginning with "Paradise Lost" director Joe Berlinger's look at Metallica heads. Are there any left?
Gloria Estefan: Caribbean Soul (8 p.m. Fri., CBS) finds the diva performing on Paradise Island in the Bahamas with guests Marc Anthony and 'N Sync. Then, Sinbad has the booty call of a lifetime when he hosts The Miss Universe Pageant (9 p.m. Fri., CBS). Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen star in the new cable movie Rated X (9 p.m. Sat., Showtime), the true story of San Francisco's Mitchell Brothers, who rose to legendary status with their film "Behind the Green Door," but who fought like, well, siblings behind the scenes. Estevez also directs. The two-part miniseries Jesus (9 p.m. Sun., CBS) promises a few modern touches to the story of Jesus' life. Jeremy Sisto, Jacqueline Bisset, Gary Oldman and Debra Messing star.
Braves at Phillies (7 p.m. Fri., 7 p.m. Sat., 1:30 p.m. Sun., TBS)
Dodgers at Cardinals (8 p.m. Sat., FX)
Reds at Astros (8 p.m. Sun., ESPN)
Avalanche at Stars, Western Conference Finals, Game 1 (7:30 p.m. Sat., ESPN)
Devils at Flyers, Eastern Conference Finals, Game 1 (3 p.m. Sun., ABC)
Heat at Knicks (8 p.m. Fri., TNT; 12:30 p.m. Sun., NBC)
Lakers at Suns (10:30 p.m. Fri., TNT; 5:30 p.m. Sun., NBC)
Pacers at 76ers (3:30 p.m. Sat., NBC)
Trail Blazers at Jazz (3 p.m. Sun., NBC)
Rosie O'Donnell (syndicated) Britney Spears
David Letterman (CBS) Richard Simmons, D'Angelo
Jay Leno (NBC) Charlie Sheen, Sofia Coppola
Politically Incorrect (ABC) Jay Mohr, James Marsters
Conan O'Brien (NBC) David Boreanaz