Racehorse gets a perma-stiffy

Champion suffers from penile paralysis.

By Jack Boulware

Published June 1, 2000 6:15PM (EDT)

In 1981, a racehorse named Pleasant Colony won both the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness, and just missed winning the Triple Crown. And like most champions, after his career ended he enjoyed a lengthy term of stud service, hoping to pass along his victorious seed to successive generations.

But the famous stallion was retired from breeding in April. Although the 22-year-old has sired more than 60 stakes-winning racehorses, including Behrens and Pleasant Tap, he's no longer available to tourists for viewing. Pleasant Colony has developed a physical condition many humans would kill for: He's unable to retract his penis.

A staff member of the Kentucky Horse Park, where Pleasant Colony recently spent the past month, says the stallion was never able to settle into a comfortable pace. In addition to not eating much and losing weight, the horse now has developed an acute case of "penile paralysis."

Imagine the size of an average horse penis -- larger than the largest sausage in the finest German restaurant. Pretty impressive, no? Now imagine it at full mast, thrusting proud and majestic between the flanks of a champion racehorse. Imagine startled children pointing and crying at the image -- and angry mothers, phone calls, photographic evidence, a noisy courtroom, a videotape shown to a shocked jury.

But it didn't go quite that far. In a classic piece of understatement, an employee said, "We just didn't think it was appropriate [for him to be seen], so we kept him in the paddock area."

Before residing at the Kentucky Horse Park, Pleasant Colony lived for two years at another facility called Lane's End Farm. His penis condition was already apparent to Lane's End owner William Farish, who believes the stallion's erect schlong is probably a product of the horse's age.

"He had a fine racing career, did very well at stud and now needs to just settle into a less active environment where he can relax," said Farish.

We should all be so lucky.

Jack Boulware

Jack Boulware is a writer in San Francisco and author of "San Francisco Bizarro" and "Sex American Style."

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