Roseanne nekkid!

"I can't get enough of my new body," says radically reduced comedian; Jennifer Lopez on her assets down south; Joan Collins: Give me men, lots of 'em! Plus: No "Dirty Dancing" for Ricky Martin.

By Amy Reiter

Published June 14, 2000 6:00PM (EDT)

What's all this about Roseanne taking it all off for Playboy?

The formerly flabby funnygal has told the U.K. Sun she plans to celebrate her whopping weight loss by doffing her duds for the thinking man's skin mag. And she expects to snap up a five-figure fee for her troubles.

"I've never been as hot as I am now," she told the tabloid. "I can't get enough of my new body and just want to show it off."

More shocking than that televised lesbian kiss of hers? Perhaps. But relax, peel your fingers away from your eyes and breathe deep, because the chance to pull a Darva Conger may be no more than wishful thinking on Roseanne's part.

Playboy spinmeister Bill Farley tells me that, although Roseanne has attended Playboy parties in the past and "nothing is impossible," he hasn't heard a thing about a nekkid Roseanne spread. And you gotta admit, she'd be pretty hard to miss.

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Puff Daddy, the foot fetishist?

"My cousin gave me great advice. He told me to be sure I always wore pretty shoes because the man I was dancing with would be looking down, and if he saw beautiful feet, he'd probably fall in love with me."

-- Jennifer Lopez on her assets down under, in Teen People.

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Here's to nude Mrs. Robinson, again

In other nude celebrity news ...

Jerry Hall is taking over Kathleen Turner's role in the London stage version of "The Graduate." And yes, her Mrs. Robinson will also titillate Benjamin -- and audiences -- with the drop of a towel.

"I'm over the moon and cannot wait," Hall told London's Daily Mail newspaper.

Maybe Roseanne can be her understudy.

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Take two hunks and call me in the morning

"I don't believe in vitamin pills or anything like that. I swear by men, darling -- and as many as possible."

-- Joan Collins on the key to eternal youth, in the London Daily Telegraph.

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Juicy bits

Maggie Smith is in talks to play the stern but lovable headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the upcoming Harry Potter flick, according to the Hollywood Reporter. The Prime of Miss Minerva McGonagall?

Ricky Martin's having the time of his life living la vida loca in the music biz -- and it seems he has no plans to trade that in for Patrick Swayze's well-worn dancing shoes. In other words, no "Dirty Dancing" remake for him. "I don't see myself right now locked in a film set," he told Popcorn. Then again, he might consider acting onstage "because I need the immediate reaction of the audience -- I'm addicted to that."

Speaking of addiction ... Bobby Brown has been sentenced to pay for his parole violation with 75 days in the slammer, which he plans to spend drying out. "I just want to continue on with my sobriety and get back home to my family," the singer told reporters after the sentence was handed down on Monday. "It's been really tough." The singer's mother said he was "accepting his disease and doing something about it."

Who wants to dress like Regis Philbin? The Van Heusen company's banking that a lot of people do. The company has just launched a clothing line based on the outfits Reege wears on his perpetually popular game show. Me, I'm holding out for the "Survivor" line ...

Amy Reiter

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