I was 12 and I woke up and ran into the bathroom. My head was spinning. What's happening? What's that feeling? That's a good feeling. Wow. Wow. I looked down and creamy stuff was coming out of my wiener! Why? I was having such a nice dream. Me and Betty and Veronica from the Archie Comics were hanging out. Oh yeah, and they took their clothes off. And what's that? Oh yeah, they wanted me to pee on them. What's that about? And then I woke up.
And now here I am in the bathroom in the middle of the night, pondering my penis. I look around like I'm not sure where I am. There's the wrinkled-up tube of Crest. There's the melting bar of soap, and the little crocheted toilet paper cover that doubles as a dress for a little Barbie doll. And there's this stuff on my hand. Is this it? Is this cum? Am I a man now, finally? Yech! Better wash it off. Phew. Guess I should go back to bed. Maybe I'll have another dream like that.
Eric Bogosian's new book is "Operation Nemesis: The Assassination Plot that Avenged the Armenian Genocide" (Little Brown). He is best known as a playwright, novelist and actor. He wrote and starred in the play, "Talk Radio" (NYSF - 1987; on Broadway starring Liev Schreiber- 2007), for which he was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize and the Tony award. For his film adaptation of the play, Bogosian received the Berlin Film Festival "Silver Bear." His six solo performances Off-Broadway between 1980 and 2000, (including "Drinking in America", "Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll" and "Wake Up and Smell the Coffee") received three Obie awards. In addition to "Talk Radio", Bogosian has written a number of full-length plays including "subUrbia" (LCT, Second Stage, also adapted to film), "Griller" (Goodman), "Red Angel" (Williamstown Theater Festival), "Humpty Dumpty" (The McCarter), 1+1 (New York Stage and Film). He is also the author of three novels, "Mall", "Wasted Beauty" and "Perforated Heart" and a novella, "Notes from Underground." He is a Guggenheim fellow.