Meat Loaf's daughter is dirty-dancing

The big guy's offspring is shakin' it loose for the Cr|e in a cage; David Spade in "Gilligan Powers"? Aaaah! the Roseanne that won't go away. Plus: Gere disses Winona!

By Amy Reiter
Published August 14, 2000 4:15PM (EDT)

Will Meat Loaf love his daughter forever?

Well, maybe, but he's not sure how he feels about her new gig dancing in a cage onstage on Mvtley Cr|e's summer tour.

"Meat Loaf came to the show in L.A., and he was like, 'Great show,'" Hole drummer Samantha Maloney, who's been sitting in for Tommy Lee's regular replacement, Randy Castillo, tells the Toronto Sun. "I was like, 'Did you enjoy watching your daughter dirty-dance to "Girls, Girls, Girls"?' He was like, 'She was great except for when she stuck her ass out in the crowd. I didn't respect that.'"

Even the Loaf has standards.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lopez gets philosophical

"Beauty and sexiness aren't about who you are on the outside ... All that goes away. Everybody gets wrinkled; everybody's breasts sag. It's about what's inside. When you have a good heart and when you're happy, you look better."

-- Jennifer Lopez, anticipating the day when she has more revealing crinkles than her trademark hanky dress.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Just shoot this

Even if you accept the theory that there are no original ideas under the sun, David Spade's pushin' it.

The diminutive comedian is co-writing and starring in a film (produced by fellow SNL alum Adam Sandler) about a guy who's been stranded on a desert island since the '60s and who, after he's been rescued and returned to modern society, must adjust to all the social changes that have taken place in the intervening years. Hilarity ensues.

I'll give you one meeeelion dollars to guess where we've heard a story like that before.

But wait, no, Spade's '60s throwback, "Puka Pete," is nothing like Austin Powers, because, you know, he's not British and, um, he's not a spy.

"'Puka Pete' is a hippie burnout '60s peacenik who, while recording whale sounds in a rowboat, gets swallowed by a whale and ends up washed up on a deserted island," Spade explains to Variety. "As he watches the animals around him team up, he realizes he'd like to find a mate and sends messages in bottles that begin to be returned by prospective marital partners."

Oh, behave.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Would you put your assets in Roseanne's hands?

I'll say one thing about Roseanne, she doesn't give up easy.

Now that her talk show is finally kaputski, the shrunken comedian is pitching a new show, which Variety describes as a cross between "Divorce Court" and "Let's Make a Deal."

The concept? Roseanne will mediate between estranged married couples, who compete in various games to determine how their assets will be divided.

Guess she's looking for new challenges, now that her own asset's half its size ...

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Juicy bits

The world hasn't seen the last of the Klumps. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Eddie Murphy has already been approached by Universal and Imagine Entertainment to make a third "Nutty Professor" film. Once more into the prosthetic folds ...

If audiences think the on-screen chemistry between Richard Gere and Winona Ryder in "Autumn in New York" stinks more than, well, summer in New York, rumor has it the off-screen chemistry was even worse. A source tells the New York Post that Gere dubbed his costar "fibbertigibbet" and "Nervous Nellie" behind her back. Really, Richard. What would the Dalai Lama say?

Simmer down now, I have some sad news. Riding high after her appearance in the scarily successful "Scary Movie," Cheri Oteri is skipping out on a sixth season "Saturday Night Live," according to Variety. On the bright side, five years of that cheerleader routine was really quite enough.

Amy Reiter

MORE FROM Amy Reiter

Related Topics ------------------------------------------

Celebrity Jennifer Lopez