Gay parents: Nobody does it better

By Hank Pellissier


Salon Staff
October 9, 2000 11:18PM (UTC)

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Congratulations on a thoughtful, funny, intelligent piece about lesbian and gay parenting. As a single gay man with parenting aspirations, it gives me great confidence in myself and my community to know there is so much love, support and resources available to lesbigay parents. And it's great to see a het admit he can learn something from our community. Our community has a lot to teach the hets, if they would only listen. I also applaud the work being done in the schools by GLSTEN and similar groups -- I support them with donations whenever I can because I remember my school days all too well. Thanks, Salon, for publishing this fine piece.

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-- Charles Flowers

Politicians of the right take note: Gay parents have the strongest family values!

-- Kevin Robinson

I very much enjoyed the article about gay and lesbian parenting, and was heartened to read the stats on how many gay families are adopting or having children. I also felt flattered by the portrayal of gay and lesbian parents as super-capable.

I would like to assure the author that not every lesbian couple is so perfect. We use formula, disposable diapers and over-the-counter medications for baby's gas problem -- and feel no shame. We have made some arrangements to flex our work schedules to minimize time with a paid caregiver. And we do try to spend equal time taking care of our girl and giving each other a break. I hope we continue to provide what the studies have identified as the strengths of gay and lesbian parenting, as well as all the things we think are important and universal to strong families.

To overcome our biggest hurdle -- homophobia -- we need the help of open-minded and accepting heterosexuals like the author and his wife. Ambassadors to the straight world, spreading the word and setting an example, and not afraid of criticism from narrow-minded people. Thanks again for the boost.

-- Dawn Hibbard

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I believe the exceptional behavior you encountered from the gay and lesbian parents is attributable to the fact that these people are the pioneers. They are the first openly gay parents in history, and to get to their positions, against all the prejudice they must have faced along the way, they had to be tough, hearty and organized.

Come back to this after 20 or 50 years when gay parents are more common, and I think you will find that things have changed dramatically. When the high barrier of entry for gay parents is eventually lowered, and anyone, gay or straight, can easily have kids, you will most likely find gays exhibiting the same variety as today's straight parents. Some will be outstanding as parents, others will be not so good and some will be downright terrible. Gay people are only human after all. Given time, they will settle in to the same ups and downs as everyone else.

-- Aaron Haney


Salon Staff

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