Dutch boner cream

A research team finds that a product used as an anesthetic also improves men's sexual performance.

By Jack Boulware

Published December 21, 2000 8:09PM (EST)

A happy accident occurred this month in the world of medicine when Dutch researchers found that a topical anesthetic cream is also effective as a sexual aid.

The cream, called prilocaine/lidocaine, was known to numb the skin. But when doctors at Erasmus University in Rotterdam, Netherlands, lathered up the penises of 15 men affected by premature ejaculation, numbness was just one of the results. Sexual arousal was immediately apparent and, in some cases, the amount of time before ejaculation was quadrupled, reported the Journal of Sex Research.

The head researcher, with the unfortunate name of Dr. A. Koos Slob, determined that men were not the only beneficiaries of the Dutch boner cream. The men's female partners were more than twice as likely to reach orgasm because of the enhanced erections. Slob and his colleagues made sure that the cream was wiped off the penises before the couples had sex so that the cream didn't come into direct contact with the women's vaginas and contaminate the experiment.

The stiffy salve did cause some annoyances. To ensure that the cream reached the full circumference and length of the penis, the men were required to roll on a condom and wait for 10 minutes until numbing occurred. Only when the purple-helmeted soldier was properly saluting and ready for sex was the condom removed. Ten of the 15 men also reported "some degree of numbness of the penis."

The Slob team stressed that the long-term effects of the love lotion are still unknown. But the researchers expected that premature ejaculation would disappear with regular use, allowing men to discontinue the treatment.

As is so often the case with such discoveries, news reports did not detail how the team of doctors decided to smear a numbing cream onto a penis. Was it the result of a wager, or a challenge issued at an office cocktail party? Whether it was Dr. Slob himself or an ordinary citizen volunteer, the owner of the inaugural test penis was not identified. Presumably, he had no complaints.

Jack Boulware

Jack Boulware is a writer in San Francisco and author of "San Francisco Bizarro" and "Sex American Style."

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