Turn on your Love Light

A British company plans to market a product designed to induce romance.

Published January 10, 2001 8:22PM (EST)

A man and woman prepare for bed. One of the couple is rarin' to hit the sack and bring it on home; the other is not in the mood. Both lie on their backs on the bed. One partner asks, "Perhaps we should use the light?" The other replies that yes, we'd better, and then reaches over, flicks a switch and activates a giant electric light mounted to the ceiling. The fixture, 6 feet long and 18 inches wide, comes to life, bombarding the couple with various colors and movements. The couple lies there, watching the light. Gradually they feel more and more amorous, and within minutes are humping like hyenas.

This Love Light is actually the result of a happy accident in the labs of the Powergen energy company. After the company received requests for optimum lighting suggestions for work and relaxation, it commissioned a team of experts to experiment with new types of lighting systems. Scientists discovered that certain intensities of lights, colors and movements actually could trigger sexual arousal in the human brain. A shimmering red light made couples feel warm, for instance. Green could instill jealousy within a partner, and yellow was the optimum color to incite passion. One wonders what exactly happened in the lab when scientists were overwhelmed by the powerful barrage to their senses.

Despite the possibility that its team of experts may have engaged in a potent orgy during the development of the light, Powergen smelled an opportunity and promptly sent out press releases to the media: "By triggering feelings of warmth and passion, the light will offer budding Romeos and Juliets a helping hand in the dating game and could make candlelit dinners a thing of the past," gushed the copy.

"Love as an experience is dictated by the arousal of all five senses," said Love Light designer Jamie Anley. "However, for that love-at-first-sight feeling it's the visual that dictates the initial chemistry ... The light has been designed to simulate the love experience and trigger arousal. It's almost as if it short-circuits the brain into an amorous mood."

Powergen is considering patenting the design and launching commercial production, so that supermarket shoppers could pick up the sex light as early as May 2002. But as with most aphrodisiacs, the press release concludes with a small warning: "The Love Light may not work for everyone."

By Jack Boulware

Jack Boulware is a writer in San Francisco and author of "San Francisco Bizarro" and "Sex American Style."

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