It could have been worse. It could have been Richard Hatch.
The New York Post is reporting that Billy Joel has been dumped by his on-again, off-again girlfriend for ... (wait for it) ... Sean from "Survivor."
According to the tabloid, the Piano Man's ex, Long Island news reporter Trish Bergin, has been playing castaway with the frighteningly clueless Dr. Sean Kenniff, and Joel himself is none too pleased with the turn of events.
"Billy isn't happy at all about Sean," one of Kenniff's buddies told the paper. "He has called Trish many times and talked to her about him."
But it seems Bergin isn't quite ready to extinguish the dull-witted doctor's torch just yet. Never mind that Joel has reportedly dubbed Kenniff a "paskunyak," a Yiddish expression indicating deep disdain.
How do you say "Tell her about it" in Yiddish?
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Flipped like a coin
"I consider myself the Susan B. Anthony of wrestling."
-- The WWF's Chyna on her own historic importance, in the upcoming USA Weekend.
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The ink-stained Olsens
Blame Martha, Oprah and Rosie.
The Olsen Twins are fixing to launch their own lifestyle magazine. Aimed at the tween set, Mary-Kate and Ashley magazine will cover fashion, boys and beauty, reports Mediaweek. The first bimonthly issue will hit newsstands in March.
"There's a void to fill," opined Robert Thorn, coeditor in chief (with the twins) and president of the "Full House" stars' production company, Dualstar Entertainment. "We'll talk about how to deal with a boy trying to give you your first kiss, as opposed to how do you deal with teen pregnancy."
That's Ranger Rick territory.
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Let us now praise supportive exes
"Her letter said, 'I know exactly what you're going through right now.' I really appreciated the gesture."
-- Bruce Willis' ex-girlfriend Maria Bravo on the comforting note Willis' ex-wife, Demi Moore, sent her when Bruce split from her last year.
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Sex and the city girl
Kim Cattrall wants to talk about sex. And now that she's writing a how-to book about sex with her husband, jazz musician and sound designer Mark Levinson, she really wants to talk about how great their sex life is.
"You know all that business about multiple orgasms?" the "Sex and the City" star inquires in the upcoming issue of More. "Well, it's true! I've only just discovered it for myself. And not just having two or three, but four and five!"
How did they do it? Not just volume -- Viagra. "It really does work!" she exclaims.
Cattrall says she'd like to back up Bob Dole as a spokeswoman for the little blue pill.
But thanks to Viagra, he's already back up.
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