Sexual politics

It was there in every sneaky grin -- the thought of pleasure.

Published January 19, 2001 8:05PM (EST)

I suppose there was always too much going on in his head for his dick to stay straight. He couldn't concentrate on just you, or me; that was his brilliance. And if you've ever tried being in love with that sort of man you know the problems -- or, let's say, the compromises you have to make. But he'll be gone very soon now, and he's sad at that thought. So let's speak to that raw likability.

Yes, he should have resigned, and he should have admitted that he did inhale and he's never been sure if his head came back. And he might as well have said that Gennifer was all an Arkansas boy had ever dreamed of and a little bit more. Even eight or nine years ago on that "60 Minutes" couch, holding hands with Hillary (or being held by her), it seemed there was so much going on in his head that he might burst out at any moment and tell the whole truth.

I mean it about the resigning. He should have gone for lying to us. And he should have taken a chance and trusted us with the truth. After all, the reason we like him, and always will, is that he likes sex.

It was there in every sneaky grin -- the thought of pleasure. We unconsciously knew that he had a way with a certain kind of woman, that he carried a fantasy harem in his head, even while he was delivering a State of the Union speech. And he could bring a woman into this harem with one joke or hug.

But I can believe that he has never been thoroughly laid, I mean laid out, left for dead. Because you know he'd have to control it all, and go for tight spots, tricky corners and those places where someone could come in any moment. Which is all a way of never quite doing it properly -- all the way.

And millions of Americans, desperate to be part of the greatest, and strongest, and most God-given and still God-fearing nation there ever was or will be, are ready enough for that half-measure. You can talk rock 'n' roll, they say, but yielding to a woman is so fucking dangerous and unclean. So don't let's ever really do it. But Bill, still, is like a kid who would at least like to do it -- all the time. And I don't know about you, but when I look around and see the other guys, so dry I wonder how they were conceived, and then feel the strain in a land that is so terrified of pleasure, I think I will always try to go along with someone who likes it.

And maybe because enough of our people were too bored or too generous to tolerate his impeachment or ruin, we might be willing to say Let it be, if that's what the idiot has to do. He liked it. And the rest of the world might like us more if they could believe we liked it. So thank you, Bill, thank you, sir. You got the big thing right.

By David Thomson

David Thomson is the author of "A Biographical Dictionary of Film" (new edition just published), "Rosebud: The Story of Orson Welles" and "In Nevada."

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Bill Clinton Love And Sex Sex