I know Hugh are but what am I?

The formerly mop-headed Brit fights like a girl; Tom Green gets nostalgic for sperm donation; and a Beastie Boy finds Eminem beastly!

Published March 23, 2001 8:00PM (EST)

Poor Hugh Grant. It looks like Elizabeth Hurley isn't the only one questioning his manhood anymore.

Colin Firth, who costars with Grant and Renée Zellweger in the film adaptation of "Bridget Jones' Diary," says his formerly floppy-haired colleague "fights like a girl." The female fight style caught Firth's attention when the two were required to engage in on-screen fisticuffs.

"Hugh's been telling everyone that it's me who fights like a girl. But all I can say in response is it takes one to know one," Firth tells the Scottish Daily Record. "He was the first one to pull my hair; I'd never have dreamed of doing that. He scratches as well. So that should give you an idea of his character."

Then again, Firth says, all in all, he found scuffling with ol' Hugh "a delicious experience."

If you like that sort of thing ...

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Batman's latest foes

"It was tough. There's a lot of pressure trying to be smarter than Melissa Gilbert or Valerie Bertinelli."

-- Veteran caped crusader Adam West on the difficulties of competing with his fellow forgotten-but-not-gone celebs on the charity version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, in the Toronto Sun.

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No deposit, no return

It's been about a year since Tom Green's famous pre-testicular-surgery visit to a sperm bank. And now that he has some perspective on it, he's come to think it's an experience everyone should have.

"It's not a guy with a mop and napkins in his hand who doesn't speak English," Green tells Maxim. "This middle-aged woman hands you a bottle, then you go into this room and there's a porno video playing."

The porn, he says, was "pretty raunchy stuff."

Then, "you wash your hands," he recalls, and "you whack off into this bottle. A clear bottle! At least you'd think they wouldn't make it a clear bottle, so they don't have to see it."

But when all is said and done, the future Mr. Drew Barrymore admits, "there's something fun about it. I would suggest that people do this. You don't have to have cancer -- anyone can freeze his sperm."

I know, I know. Nuts to that ...

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Modern music lover

"What? Am I not aware of modern music?"

-- Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon on whether he recognized Michael Jackson when he met him at a private reception in New York earlier this week.

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Speaking of modern music ...

Attention: Eminem.

Beastie Boy Adam Horovitz thinks you should check your head.

"I think it's pretty embarrassing for someone to go and say, 'This is my First Amendment. This is my right as an American citizen to be ignorant and homophobic and sexist,'" Horovitz told the Web site Worldpop. "It's like, 'OK, if that's who you are and that's what you want to be, well I don't want to listen to you.' That's my First Amendment right. I don't give a s**t."

And not only does Em, the white-rap pioneer, think you're offensive, he suspects you might be kinda dumb, too.

"He goes onstage with Elton John and he said, 'I didn't know Elton John was gay?'" marvels Horovitz. "I don't understand where people's heads are at."

Hello, nasty comment ...

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Juicy bits

Get ready to cut the necks off all your T-shirts: "Flashdance," the stage musical, is headed your way. "The film is so performance-oriented," Susan Weaving, vice president of William Morris' touring division, which hopes to have the musical onstage by 2002, tells Variety. "With 'Flashdance,' you're not adapting a soundtrack to characters, which is always the challenge with movie-to-stage adaptations. The film is about live performance." Where's Jennifer Beals when you need her?

Is Britney Spears' boyfriend off to see the wizard? Variety reports that 'N Sync's Justin Timberlake is in talks to join Brandy and co. in "The O.Z.," Fox's hip-hop take on "The Wizard of Oz." Which role? The Scarecrow, which should offer the rest of the world ample opportunity to make "if I only had a brain" jokes.

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.

By Amy Reiter

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