Top 10 new meals coming to McDonald's

A good cow is hard to find, but the savvy eatery is on top of things. Think: McKnuckles.

By Al Astor
Published April 5, 2001 3:00AM (EDT)

Due to the recent outbreaks across the Western Hemisphere of both mad cow and foot and mouth disease, the creative department of the Washington think tank Gog and Magog Enterprises has been put to the rather difficult task of creating new items for the McDonald's menu, so the restaurant can sell heretofore unpopular parts of its various slaughtered animals. This will allow it to lower steeply rising costs and widen profit margins (as well as a few customers) during this difficult worldwide economic contraction. The following are the 10 best new items. Ask for them by name.

10) McHaggis

9) McKnuckles

8) Nappy Meal

7) McScrapple (formerly McSnouts and Hooves)

6) Gizzard McNuggets

5) Offal McMuffin

4) McTripe (McMenudo in Latin America)

3) Fillet O'Gristle

2) Quarter Pounder with Head Cheese

1) The All-new McBrain Sandwich

Al Astor

Al Astor is very, very tired.


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