Spread 'em, junior

The White House reportedly plans to frisk toddlers.

By Anthony York
Published April 13, 2001 4:43PM (EDT)


Bush Watch: "Press Unsettled by Bush's Programmed Ineptitude"
SmirkingChimp.com: "Can You Say 'Paranoia'?"
Drudge Report: "Toddlers to Be Frisked at White House Egg Roll"
TomPaine.com: "A Mississippi Meditation on Compassionate Conservatives"
American Politics Journal: "Will the Guilty in Florida Ever Pay?"

Big buzz

OK, OK -- the crew is home from China, the budget battle is raging on the Hill, but the real news of the day is a Times of London report that toddlers will be frisked before being allowed to participate in the annual White House Egg Roll.

"The heightened security at Monday's event has been prompted by a spate of school shootings, leading authorities to regard even the youngest child as a potential threat," the Times reports. "More than 30,000 people die from firearms-related deaths each year in America, and gun control advocates point out that the rate of gun deaths among children aged 14 and younger is nearly 12 times more than in 25 other industrialized countries combined."

Call this a big, fat softball for the left. "Right-wing Bush-whackos wink to new depths of paranoia!" screams Democrats.com.

"Never know ... they could be packin' serious heat," chimes in one Table Talker. "Those [Secret Service] boys probably have itchy trigger fingers these days, what with dumbo's poll numbers diving like a peregrine falcon."

"Perhaps you haven't heard of the Toddler Liberation Army and their notorious suicide missions," cracks another.

The Freepers were equally jocular about the ridiculous image of the Secret Service frisking little tots. "There's a good chance that many of the toddlers could be Bill Clinton's evil spawn," posts one.

"They cannot seriously be considering frisking three to six year olds," writes another Freeper. "What if there are poopey pants on one of them?"

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Anthony York

Anthony York is Salon's Washington correspondent.

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