Shake, rattle and roll!

Tommy Lee: "Mommy" means Pamela; Cybill Shepherd on sex after 40; Chloe Sevigny: Charlize is tacky. Plus: Ren

By Salon Staff
Published April 19, 2001 7:00PM (EDT)

Amid all the recent breathless speculation about the possibility of yet another Tommy Lee/Pamela Anderson reunion, have any of us stopped to consider -- really consider -- what went wrong in the first place?

Tommy has, and in a soon-to-be published book by the members of Mötley Crüe, excerpts from which are published in the upcoming issue of Rolling Stone, he fills the rest of us in.

Others may blame alcohol or anger-control issues for that nasty spousal abuse incident that landed him in the clink for a few months back in 1998. Tommy blames his favorite cooking utensil. It was, it seems, a simple case of out of the frying pan, out of his mind.

"I was in the kitchen cooking dinner for Pamela and the kids. I looked through the cabinets for a pan and couldn't find one because the fucking housekeeper had our cooking shit scattered all over the place," Tommy writes. "I started to freak out like it was the end of the world ... I started slamming cabinet doors and throwing shit around, like a little baby crying for attention, hoping Mommy would come and solve all his problems."

By "Mommy," Tommy clarifies, he means Pamela. But when "Mommy" came over and said, "Calm down, it's just a pan," he really flew off the handle.

"My whole fucking peace of mind and sanity depended on me finding that pan," he says. "And by not caring whether I found the pan, Pamela, in my mind, was disrespecting my feelings."

So one thing led to another, and before he knew it, the police were hauling his fry-freaked fanny down to the station.

Nowadays, Lee's still sizzling with regrets. "I should have walked outside and just vented at the stars or gone for a long jog or taken a cold shower. But I didn't."

And that, my friends, is why things didn't pan out.

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In case you wondered ...

"Sex got better for me after 40, I don't mean the number of lovers, but the intensity and the pleasure."

-- Cybill Shepherd on her favorite subject, in the Toronto Sun.

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In other breakup news ...

It's official: Jane Fonda has filed for divorce from Ted Turner.

According to the petition, filed Monday, Fonda contends that the marriage is "irretrievably broken" with "no hope of reconciliation." The petition also indicates that the couple has reached an agreement over the division of assets, disappointing news for those of you hoping to witness a messy battle.

But despite Turner's admission in this week's New Yorker that he was suicidal when the marriage ended -- in large part because Fonda turned to Christianity and away from him -- Fonda insists that the split was all for the best. And she plans to say as much in the book she's currently working on.

"One of the things I want to talk about in my memoirs," she tells the Brit mag Hello! "is the fact that separation or divorce doesn't necessarily represent failure."

Uh, right. It's just sort of a less successful version of success.

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Look who's talking trash

"People are saying Kate Hudson is fashionable now -- boring to me. And Charlize Theron -- tacky to me."

-- Chloe Sevigny, showing her fashion fangs in Harper's Bazaar.

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Juicy bits

Loca who's fixing to wear Antonio Banderas' mask! Ricky Martin may be shaking his bonbon onstage in a London production of "Zorro." A source involved with the musical told the U.K. Sun that the musical's producers approached Martin after Banderas turned down the role and that "his people are looking at the scripts and music and [are] definitely interested." However, whether Martin can commit to a full run, the source said, is still in question. The other question is: Would Zorro dance with George W. Bush?

Renée Zellweger might want to start packing on the pounds again. It's looking like there's a v.g. chance that the producers of "Bridget Jones's Diary" will want to fast-track the film's sequel. Working Title Films has reportedly already optioned Helen Fielding's follow-up book, "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason," and are currently negotiating with her to write a screenplay. Hope ol' Renée didn't throw away those full-figured bras.

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.

Salon Staff

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