Introducing the Breechclouter!

Innovation in the adult undergarment industry has come to a shameful standstill. We intend to change that.

By Al Astor

Published June 22, 2001 7:00PM (EDT)

Health and hygiene megaliths are eager to develop new products that now, and in the not-too-distant future, can be aimed at an aging demographic of consumer-dependent Americans colloquially know as baby boomers. Supplements and drugs like Viagra and Viacreme are being developed daily and released to capitalize on the swinging suburban SEXtuagenarian set. But in so difficult and highly competitive an industry as that of the adult undergarment, where innovation has come to a virtual standstill, poor marketing strategies will mean billions in lost revenue.

Therefore, we at the Al Astor Institute for the Manifold Enhancement of Market Profiteering have developed, free of charge, a small litany of commercial names for this timeless technology to suit the diverse lifestyles of its soon-to-be consumers. So for housewives to retired contractors, Anglophiles to sentimental ex-cons, we present:

Top 10 Commercial Names for Adult Diapers

10) Crupperware

9) Piddle Jumpers

8) The Breechclouter

7) The Crapsack

6) Tidy Dhoties

5) Sir Dumps-a-Lot

4) The Log Cabin

3) The Hold

2) Flux Gutters

1) The Stool Caddy

Al Astor

Al Astor is very, very tired.


Related Topics ------------------------------------------