The Ultimate Bushed! Quiz

Are you Bushed!? Well, are you?


Salon Staff
August 10, 2001 7:10PM (UTC)

This White House was ushered in on one big fat election controversy, and has given us an almost-nonstop assortment of scandals -- real and imagined -- to dine on for more than seven months now. From the (false) reports of a Clinton-trashed White House, to the goofs by our new numero uno that nearly plunged us into crises with North Korea and China, to the national cliffhanger that is Vice President Dick Cheney's troubled health, there's almost been too much to ponder. And that's not including the twins!

So much to follow. But have you been paying attention? Are you sure? We have devised the following quiz to separate those who are truly Bushed! from those who simply can't see the forest for the shrubs. Keep track of your answers, and see how you measure up in the end.

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-- Alicia Montgomery

1. Since the inauguration, Bush advisor Karl Rove has discussed government business with the leaders of several companies while owning shares of the companies' stock. Which of the following is not among those companies?

A. Intel
B. Enron
C. General Electric
D. Microsoft

2. How many months did it take Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill to sell his stock in Alcoa after he promised to do so on ABC's "This Week?"

A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 4

3. What was the Bush snub that was widely rumored to have driven Sen. Jim Jeffords, I-Vt., from the Republican Party?

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A. An off-the-cuff crack from the president about his dislike for maple syrup
B. The president's failure to shake Jeffords' hand during a Capitol Hill visit
C. The White House withholding an invitation to an event honoring a Vermont teacher
D. Laura Bush's staff excluding Mrs. Jeffords from a White House party for senatorial spouses

4. Which member of Bush's crew performed at a karaoke bar in front of reporters during the president's long summer weekend in Kennebunkport, Maine?

A. Ari Fleischer
B. Daughter Barbara
C. Daughter Jenna
D. Karl Rove

5. What rap golden oldie did that Bush team member sing by heart?

A. "Mamma Said Knock You Out," LLCoolJ
B. "Fight the Power," Public Enemy
C. "Ladies First," Queen Latifah
D. "Bust a Move," Young M.C.

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6. What other member of the Bush team had his participation in a bizarre onstage karaoke performance on an overseas trip broadcast worldwide?

A. Secretary of State Colin Powell
B. National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice
C. Daughter Barbara
D. Dick Cheney

7. Which real-life Bush confidante was not portrayed during Comedy Central's short-lived "That's My Bush?"

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A. Laura Bush
B. Karen Hughes
C. Karl Rove
D. Dick Cheney

8. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of "South Park" and "That's My Bush," are vowing to make a full-length feature film with Bush as an action hero. What's the proposed title of the movie?

A. "George Bush & the Mystery of Burning Sand"
B. "George Bush & the Secret of the Glass Tiger"
C. "George Bush & the Key to the Ancient City"
D. "George Bush & the Revenge of John McCain"

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9. What is White House press secretary Ari Fleischer's real first name?

A. Herman
B. Leonard
C. Sidney
D. Eugene

10. Which Bush woman was offered $10 million by Larry Flynt to appear nude in his Hustler magazine?

A. Daughter Jenna
B. Daughter Barbara
C. Mother Barbara
D. First lady Laura

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11. What drink had first daughter Barbara ordered at Chuy's restaurant in Austin before she and her sister got busted?

A. Jack and Coke
B. A beer
C. Margarita
D. A wine spritzer

12. The fake I.D. Barbara reportedly tried to use to get alcohol in a New Haven, Conn., bar listed her as a resident of what state?

A. Texas
B. Connecticut
C. Oklahoma
D. Maryland

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13. What fake name was reportedly listed on that I.D.?

A. Barbara Washington
B. Barbara Pierce
C. Barbara George
D. Barbara Austin

14. Young Barbara Bush recently caused an international stir by reportedly wearing what to Buckingham Palace?

A. A halter top
B. Stiletto heels
C. A mini skirt
D. Blue jeans

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15. The Bush twins were spotted at a recent Hollywood party marking the release of which summer movie?

A. "American Pie 2"
B. "Planet of the Apes"
C. "The Princess Diaries"
D. "Rush Hour 2"

16. Bad weather kept the president away from which of the following events?

A.The welcome home ceremony for American service members detained in China
B.The annual NAACP conference
C. The Boy Scout Jamboree
D. Madonna's Madison Square Garden show

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17. The White House Easter egg roll disappointed a lot of parents and kids this year. What spirit-dampening calamity did not befall the event?

A. Postponement because of heavy rain
B. Bush canceling the Easter Bunny's appearance on religious grounds
C. Implementation of a new security policy to search toddlers for weapons and bombs
D. A ban on balloons

18. Former President Jimmy Carter presented Bush with a report outlining proposed election reforms. When a reporter asked if Bush could have won the White House had the reforms been in place in November, how did the president reply?

A. "I don't have to answer that question."
B. "It would have been a landslide."
C. "The vote in November was fair."
D. "Maybe. Maybe not."

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19. Andrew Sullivan, Internet pundit and New Republic writer, is normally a big Bush booster. But which Bush action did he describe as reinforcing the image of the president as "smug, aristocratic, out of touch, and callow?"

A. Excluding several low-level White House staff members from the annual Fourth of July party at the White House
B. Beginning a month-long break at his ranch in Crawford, Texas after six months in office
C. Wearing a baseball cap emblazoned with a "43" (as in the 43rd president) to match his dad's "41" baseball cap during a trip to Kennebunkport
D. Lobbying to get the Navy to pay Cheney's utility bills while resisting federal price controls on electricity

20. Which nation was offended by the Bush family's decision to bestow its name on a new pet cat?

A. China
B. India
C. Colombia
D. Egypt

The Answers:

1. D

2. C

3. C

4. A

5. D

6. A

7. B

8. B

9. B

10. A

11. C

12. D

13. B

14. D

15. A

16. C

17. B

18. B

19. C

20. B

What your score means:

16 to 20: Bushed Brahmin -- "I know so much about Bush, Ari Fleischer should take notes when I talk!"

11 to 15: Brightly Bushed -- "If Jeb's supposed to be the smart one, does that make George the cute one?"

6 to 10: Bushed Bystander -- "Wasn't there some other guy named Bush in White House a while back?"

1 to 5: Barely Bushed -- "If there's no independent counsel after him, how interesting can he be?"


Salon Staff

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