Grant him some modesty!

Hugh explains that "stirring" in his trousers; Britney describes God, heaven; who stole Willie Nelson's inflatable whiskey bottle? Plus: Anne Robinson movie in the works!

By Amy Reiter

Published March 29, 2002 5:35PM (EST)

Hugh, dirty rat?

In what may be a concerted effort to counteract his recent nice-guy tendencies toward his pregnant ex-squeeze, Elizabeth Hurley, Hugh Grant has issued a few more of his squirm-inducing sleazy-guy comments.

This time, boys and girls, the topic is ... on-screen love scenes. (Isn't it always?)

"Even if I don't really fancy the actress, I always get a stirring," the actor tells the U.K. Sun. "In the past I've had to ask the director to hang on for take three because I have to wait for this stirring to subside."

Right, OK. But Grant's got a little more to share.

"There was this one scene," he recalls, "where I had to walk across the room and I had to wait for everything to settle down."

None of that "I'm just an actor doing a job" mumbo-jumbo for him.

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Britney sees God

If you're anything like the rest of us, you'll often stop in the middle of your day and think, I wonder what Britney Spears thinks about God.

Well -- mercy sakes alive! -- an answer has now come our way.

Spears tells the German magazine Cinema that she has a pretty clear concept of the big cheese upstairs and his environs.

In the great beyond, "everyone is at peace and happy, and they all hop around from cloud to cloud," Spears says. "In heaven you can see your grandparents and everyone you loved once again. And an old man with a long white beard wanders around, that's God."

Oh, good Lord!

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Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be bottle bandits

If anyone you know suddenly starts boasting about having recently nabbed a slightly used giant inflatable bottle, there may be a guitar autographed by Willie Nelson in it for you.

The braidy-headed singer has just put out an APB for the 8-foot-tall inflatable Old Whiskey River bottle that decorates his stage on his current tour, sponsored by the liquor company. The bottle, valued at $2,000, disappeared after a concert last week in Phoenix. Nelson's people have offered a reward for information leading to its return.

"This Old Whiskey River bottle is an important part of the tour," said the liquor company's spokeswoman Melanie Wicker, who'd really like to get it back and out on the road again. "We didnt think anyone would have the audacity to walk away with it -- it's not like you can hide it in your coat."

Unless, of course, you deflate it.

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What mysteries lurk beneath the long black jacket?

Proof that virtually anyone can get a film made about them: Anne Robinson, the movie.

Yep, the "Weakest Link" host has told the U.K. Sun that a film based on her autobiography, "Memoirs of an Unfit Mother," is in the pipeline. And that Renée Zellweger is among the actresses under consideration for the title role.

"I had hoped my daughter Emma would play the young me but she is far too busy with her own radio show in Washington," Robinson says of her daughter, Emma Wilson, who's reported to be less than happy with her mother's book.

"We are currently at the stage of finding a screenwriter," the frosty game-show host adds. "I would have loved to have written it myself but I'm simply too busy."

Insulting people is very time-consuming.

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.

Amy Reiter

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