"Since You Asked": My husband is a horrible kisser

By Cary Tennis

By Salon Staff
May 2, 2002 11:13PM (UTC)
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Read the story.

I taught my husband how to kiss (he was lousy, too, at one point) ... It is quite easy, really.

I gave him a smoldering, sexy look and said, Let me kiss you, lover ... When he started to respond in his usual slobbery way, I pulled back for a moment and repeated, Let me kiss you ... After a few false starts, he practically swooned and let me kiss him the way I wanted to be kissed and sighed, "Oh wow, now I get it ..."


Since those nights several years ago, he still gives me that smoldering look and asks in an extremely sexy way with his face close to mine, "May I kiss you, just the way you like it?" My reply is always "Kiss me already, right now!!"

Like I said, it was surprisingly easy. No one wants to be lectured on kissing. It's supposed to be fun and sexy, so just find a way to make it so.

-- Glad I Did


Regarding Kissless in Seattle: I recognized her husband's bad kissing, as it sounds just like my ex-boyfriend's kissing when we first started dating. Unlike hers, my boy got better and better at it. We had discussed his kissing at the beginning (too slobbery), but you can't teach someone to kiss better by telling them how to kiss. I think the key was in how I kissed back (if I do say so myself). Instead of going right for the big French kiss, or succumbing to his big slobbery snog, I'd take a very playful attitude to kissing. When things started to get close and all-consuming, I'd draw back, play the tip of my tongue across his lips and teeth, give light little baby kisses, kiss just the upper or lower lip -- anything to disrupt any kissing routine before it got started, so that kissing was much more varied from start to finish.

I think this basically trained him into not considering facial kissing as devouring -- it allowed him to see what you could do with a mouth that's not fully open and how to use the tip rather than just the body of the tongue. It didn't take many months before his kissing had grown up and he could better vary his technique according to situation.

Since KIS and her husband have stopped kissing so much, this might allow for the development of a new style of kissing, initiated in the kind of flirtatious way that this training method encourages. (Perhaps I should patent it?)


Unfortunately, my boy now uses those skills on someone else. I trust that she appreciates them.

-- Been There, Kissed That

Great subject. I also have been a complete failure in kissing. My wife enjoys the lovemaking but hates my kisses. I must have flubbed it when we first got married. So unfortunately we keep the foreplay to a minimum. Overall the relationship is great but I hate to confess my failure. Thanks for your sincere analysis.


-- A. J. White

Salon Staff

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