The unbleeped life

Kelly and Jack Osbourne: What goes on beneath the bleeps? The vulgarization of Celine Dion; Roseanne says Dubya's a "babe." Plus: Is Lorraine Bracco ready to drop the towel?

By Amy Reiter

Published September 16, 2002 4:28PM (EDT)

It's no bleeping big deal.

Kelly and Jack Osbourne want you to know that you're not missing much by watching a censored version of their home life.

Kelly, for her part, has told Canadian reporters that the bleep-packed American version of "The Osbournes" may even be more exciting for the mystery. She contends that the bleeps make their language seem racier than it really is.

Then again, she says, "I've never seen it without the bleeps."

Her brother, Jack, has ... in Europe, where they allow the family's mouths free rein.

"I didn't think anything of it," he said of the uncensored version of the show. "It took me a second [to realize], 'Wait a minute, this is unbleeped.' But it's just normal."

Normal? Bleep that.

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Time for a bleep?

"They took off her voice and invented vulgar lyrics. It's unacceptable."

-- Rene Angelil expressing outrage at a Montreal radio station for randily spoofing his wife Celine Dion's song, "I'm Alive."

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Waiting on a friend

What a drag it is getting old and having your friends go mainstream.

Keith Richards was extremely unhappy when he learned that his fellow Rolling Stoner Mick Jagger would be knighted by Queen Elizabeth II.

"It was enraging," Richards told Mojo magazine of the moment he heard about Jagger's royal honor last June. "I threatened to pull out of the tour, went berserk, bananas."

But don't think Richards is just jealous. Oh, no.

"I doubt they thought of offering me one," the wrinkly rocker said, "because they know what I would've said ... They knew I'd tell them where they could put it."

He's so cold.

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Juicy bits

Dr. Melfi, naked? Lorraine Bracco is ready to step into Kathleen Turner's nude, dimly lit role as Mrs. Robinson in the Broadway production of "The Graduate." Turner turns her towel over to Bracco in mid-November, according to the New York Post. Wonder what Dr. Freud would say ...

Gwyneth Paltrow's apparently trying to breathe a little life into that old Grace Kelly comparison she used to get all the time. The actress is reportedly flirting with princesshood by dating Prince Felipe of Spain. According to Spain's El Mundo newspaper, the prince's folks, King Juan Carlos and Sophia, are confirming that their son is seeing Paltrow, who speaks pretty good Spanish. Que sera sera.

Proof that there's no accounting for taste: Roseanne Barr apparently finds President Bush to be a total hottie. "I saw him at a fundraiser and he's a babe. I think he's hot," she told the London Star. "If he wasn't married I'd be putting on my cowboy boots and coming round." Really, it's safer not to imagine it.

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.

Amy Reiter

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