What a jerk!

Cybill Shepherd's date breaker; get stiffed, Madonna! Valentine's hitch for Jen and Ben? Plus: The butler's doing it.

Published November 7, 2002 2:29PM (EST)

Taking dating advice from Cybill Shepherd is not for the faint of heart.

Shepherd herself is in a date-o-rama phase now and -- at age 52 -- the erstwhile self-dubbed sex addict says she's "having more fun now than I've ever had."

But, she tells More magazine, she has her ways of weeding out unsuitable suitors.

As soon as she's got a feller on the phone, "The first thing I said used to be, 'Are you pro-choice?'" she tells the magazine. "If they said, 'What do you mean by that?' I would say, 'You know, I think this is not going to work out.'"

Well, fair enough. But for some reason Shepherd has seen fit to change her litmus test.

Now, she says, "I ask if they've ever masturbated in front of someone."

And? "If they say no, I ask how often they masturbate," she shares. "If they say, 'I'd rather have somebody else do it,' that's a very bad sign ... Next!"

Guess it just rubs her the wrong way.

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What would be the right way?

"I don't want pretty and I don't want nice. I want stiff. I was thinking of calling the new album 'Stiff Is the New Hard,' but then I thought that would be taken the wrong way."

-- Madonna on her new album, on which she is said to rap, to the World Entertainment News Network.

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Order the personalized matchbooks!

Great news. We may all soon be delivered from all that "Are they? Aren't they?" speculation about wedding bells for Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.

It's looking more and more like they are.

"I think everybody will know soon enough," Lopez cooed Tuesday on "Total Request Live," when asked if she and Affleck are officially engaged.

And word is she's probably referring to an interview she did with Diane Sawyer, which is set to air next week.

According to New York Post gossipist Cindy Adams, who was the first to break the news of the Lopez/Affleck love affair just a few months ago, the large-bootied singer-actress, whose divorce from Cris Judd will be final in January, tells Sawyer, "Yes, we are engaged."

Let the speculation about a Valentine's Day wedding begin ...

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Juicy bits

Elton John's apparently channeling his inner meanie. According to the London Daily Mail, the singer has just bought a $12,000 ring encrusted with diamonds that spell out the words "Fuck you." "It's very funny," Elton said. We're sure ...

The sound of Celine Dion's voice may strike some of us as apt to crack a windshield, but that's apparently not the way the marketing geniuses over at Chrysler see it. The automaker has just signed the Canadian diva to a three-year, multimillion-dollar deal in which Dion will serve as the company's spokeswoman. She'll also contribute an original song to the ad campaign's kickoff early next year. Make sure the mute button on your remote's working.

Who wants to be a TV-show-producing multimillionaire? Don Johnson, apparently. Variety reports that the former "Miami Vice" and "Nash Bridges" star has formed his own production company in hopes of developing a miniseries, a reality show and several pilots, including one in which he might star. The reality show, "The One Minute Millionaire," is being described as a cross between "Survivor" and "Who Wants to be a Millionaire." Just what we all needed.

And speaking of shows we can't wait to see ... Princess Diana's former butler, Paul Burrell, is hoping to trade in on his fame and host an American game show called "What the Butler Saw." According to the Hollywood Reporter, Burrell will be in the U.S. next week to shop the show, in which contestants compete to see who has the best knowledge of celebrity scandals, to the networks. Now this one, I must admit, rather appeals to us.

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.


By Amy Reiter

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Celebrity Jennifer Lopez