Who are you?

Townshend: I was just embracing my feminine side; Dolly's pair of horses; Vin & Nicole? You've got to be Kidman! Plus: Ringwald bids adieu to hubby.

By Amy Reiter

Published November 11, 2002 4:56PM (EST)

People try to put him down just because he gets around. But Pete Townshend would like to us all to know that he gets around only with women, despite what you may have heard.

The longtime rumors about him being gay, he tells the upcoming issue of Stuff magazine, started, as far as he can tell, around the time he released the song "Rough Boys," back in 1980.

"'Rough Boys' was a sarcastic song about the punks in England dressing the same way as American homosexual men," he explains to the aggressively hetero men's mag. "I did an interview that referred to my 'gay life.'"

But, he says, he wasn't talking about his gay life.

"I was talking about the fact that many of my friends have been gay, so the interviewer assumed I was coming out," he says.

He also thinks his assertion that he knows "what it feels like to be a woman" might have had something to do with the misconception.

"We all have feminine aspects to our personalities," he says. "I was just willing to admit it."

He won't get fooled again.

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And maybe teach them a few tricks

"Look, I'm in show business. I look at my boobs like they're show horses or show dogs. You've got to keep them groomed."

-- Dolly Parton on her prize assets on Peoplenews.com.

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Ready for more &*(#(% closeups

So much for all the Osbournes' talk about the spotlight being too much for them. Every member of the Osbourne clan, with the possible exception of spotlight-eschewing daughter Aimee, has projects -- big and small -- coming up for them that build on their MTV visibility.

Brother Jack is doing another guest stint on "Dawson's Creek" in January. Kelly is set to promote her new album, "Shut Up." And Ozzy himself is set to appear in a 15-minute education video put out by the Hearing Aid Music Foundation to warn young musicians about the dangers of loud music.

But, of course, it's Sharon who has the biggest deal going. Struggle with colon cancer be damned, the Osbourne matriarch has just signed a deal with Warner Bros. to star in her own daily talk show, the New York Daily News reports. The series, which is being compared to both Oprah's and Dr. Phil's show, is set to debut in the fall.

Alert the censors.

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Juicy bits

Madonna and Guy Ritchie's universally reviled remake "Swept Away" turns out to have been aptly named. Columbia Tristar has announced that the film won't even be released theatrically in the U.K., the couple's country of residence. Instead, alas, it will go straight to video. Which is, of course, the next best thing ...

This one sounds more promising: Vin Diesel and Nicole Kidman in a movie remake of the musical "Guys and Dolls." It's still in a very early phase, but Diesel told JamShowbiz.com that he's run the idea past Kidman and that she's "excited about it." Both stars have other things going on at the moment, and Diesel cautions that he has no intention of trading in his action-star success in order to sing. "I don't want to torture my fans by attempting a singing career," he tells the site. "I think one musical would be just enough." Still, if he can carry a tune at all, he'd make a heck of a Nathan Detroit.

Life after Bratpackhood is not always all sweetness and light, it seems. At least not for Molly Ringwald. The former teenage film star has reportedly filed for divorce from her French husband of three years, seeking neither money nor community property, but citing "cruel and inhuman treatment." Sounds like her estranged husband could use a character-building stint in the Breakfast Club, n'est-ce pas?

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.

Amy Reiter

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