The Fix

Oprah plays English teacher, Gwyneth in trouble with Coldplay, and -- is it possible -- more cleavage on "Sex and the City"! Plus: Which senator wants to destroy your computer?


Salon Staff
June 18, 2003 6:45PM (UTC)

Now here's a good idea -- Sen. Orrin Hatch wants to consider destroying the computers of people who download music illegally. During a hearing on copyright abuse yesterday the senator showed a lot of interest in ways to damage computers involved in file trading, even though legal experts said that doing so would violate anti-hacking laws. Hatch wasn't deterred. "If we can find some way to do this without destroying their machines, we'd be interested in hearing about that," Hatch said. "If that's the only way, then I'm all for destroying their machines." Whoa, little cowboy. Take a deep breath and listen to some Enya. (Washington Post)

Whether or not you like the way the "Sex and the City" gals dress, it's always fun to gawk at them and try to figure out who designed what. This season, costumer Patricia Field says she's going for chunky heels, lots of cleavage, head scarves and -- are you ready? -- "pink mink necklaces." Whoever spots that accessory first, wins. (N.Y. Daily News)

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In related news, shoe designer Jimmy Choo was just given an honorary Order of the British Empire (OBE) award for services to fashion. His work figured prominently in an episode of "Sex and the City" wherein Sarah Jessica Parker's character, Carrie, figures out that if she hadn't bought all those Choos and Blahniks she could have bought an apartment in Manhattan. (Ananova)

Now that Oprah is recommending classics instead of new books, reprints should be flying off the presses. Her first pick is John Steinbeck's 1952 novel "East of Eden," which she described to her viewers as probably the best novel she had ever read. "It's the perfect book for the summer," the big O opined. "It's a saga. You will not be able to turn the pages fast enough." That's what English teachers have been saying about it all these years ... (USA Today)

Members of the hot Brit band Coldplay are reportedly miffed that lead singer Chris Martin's girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow is along for their European tour because she can't bear to be away from her honey. The band says there's an unwritten rule that main squeezes stay home and let the band "work hard and play hard." As Gwynnie ponders what to do, there is only one name she should keep in mind: Yoko. (WENN)

-- Karen Croft

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"Clown paintings" may sound like two of the scariest words in the English language to the rest of us, but to Diane Keaton they apparently sound like a life mission.

Pittsburgh's Andy Warhol Museum has announced plans to present "Clown Paintings: From the Collection of Diane Keaton and Others," an exhibition of "more than 40 amateur clown paintings culled from the collections of actress Diane Keaton and gallery-owner and collector Robert Berman, " opening Aug. 24. (Alas, no clown images -- sad or happy -- are yet available on the museum's Web site.)

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According to a museum press release, Keaton discovered her love of clown painting while browsing one fateful day at the Pasadena Rose Bowl Swap Meet. There, the actress "came across an amateur painting of a circus clown and had what she describes as 'an epiphany.' The discovery led to a new passion for these paintings and the outrageous subjects they depict. By turns heartfelt and humorous, frightening and bizarre, these paintings obsessed Keaton, who found herself moved by their mute eloquence and fascinated by their kitschy bad taste."

More frightening still, the few dozen works in the museum's exhibit reflect a mere fraction of Keaton's clown-painting collection: She owns more than 300 of these suckers -- and has even written a book about them, featuring essays by, among others, Jerry Lewis and Phyllis Diller.

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Available in the museum bookstore, natch.

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The stinky economy got you down? It's apparently reduced Ted Turner to tears. Unable to dispense any new money through his foundation this year -- Fortune magazine says he's "down to his last billion" and must even delay paying off his whopping pledge to the U.N. -- the bereft CNN founder is reported to have broken down in front of his kids, saying, "I cannot believe my foundation, and all I want to do and can't. It's all my fault." Billionaire or no billionaire, it's hard not to feel sorry for the guy. (The Washington Times via Drudge)

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Attention, Eminem: Mariah Carey insists she's more mature than you. The sometimes-stable songstress says she's not bothered by all those nasty things you've been saying about her since your brief fling ended last year. "He is such a little boy," Carey proclaims. "This whole thing is so high school." (N.Y. Post)

Actually ol' Em may have had someone else do the scrawling for him. The rapper has reportedly snapped up a 14,000-square-foot mansion on six acres of land outside of Detroit -- complete with a spa, swimming pool, waterfall and boating lake with a pier -- from ex-Kmart CEO Charles Conaway. (N.Y. Post)

Rudy Giuliani and Bill Clinton are apparently -- gasp! -- lunching in the same room today, though at Rudy's insistence they will not arrive at the same time, shake hands or be seated at the same table. Here's hoping they conduct themselves better than, say, Oliver Stone's mother, who was recently seen at a charity dinner snagging chicken entrees off every plate in sight and packing them away in her bag. "I have a dog at home," said she.

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As for the former POTUS's bestselling-author wife, she says she's cool with the concept of Sharon Stone playing her on TV. "She is a beautiful woman," the senator told the New York Daily News.

Celebrities speaking out against exercise, a new trend? "I've never worked out. In fact, I need to lose a few pounds," slender singer Norah Jones tells the Associated Press. "I don't care if I'm a little chubby. I love to eat way too much." Right, OK, fine, but Demi Moore? She informs Vogue magazine that all that dud-doffing she used to do "was an effort to overcome huge, huge insecurities with my body, and having had huge struggles with my weight." And now, she says, she's sworn off dieting and exercising and found "an emotional haven": "I literally stopped doing anything."

-- Amy Reiter

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