The Fix

Pamela Anderson gets animated, Demi Moore gets shy, and Tucker Carlson gets ready to eat his shoes! Plus: Will it be Hillary vs. Rudy after all?

By Salon Staff
Published June 23, 2003 3:01PM (EDT)

Pamela Anderson's next appearance won't be in the flesh. Instead, you'll hear her voice and see cartoon cleavage as she portrays an animated superhero in a series called "Stripperella," starting this week on TNN. Pam is being as coy as she's capable of, saying that she won't allow nudity in the cartoon. She is allowing innuendo, however: Her name is Erotica Jones, a stripper who is really Super Agent 69 -- equipped with a lipstick laser and wall-climbing stilettos. Boys of all ages will no doubt be impressed, but Pamela's 7-year-old son may not be one of them. When she showed little Brandon the cartoon he compared his mom's character to Angelica Pickles in "Rugrats," saying, "Angelica is a very good actor, a very good character, and she's much more famous than you, Mom." Ouch. (Reuters)

Demi Moore is adept at balancing high-voltage media frenzy and shy behavior when it comes to her romance with man-child Ashton Kutcher. When Matt Lauer tried to pry info from the buff actress during a "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" promo interview this morning by asking her to talk about her new love she almost blushed and said, "You'll have to meet him." And when Matt suggested that the 15-year age difference might be one reason for all the attention, Demi demurred and said, "I don't know," then smiled like a Cheshire cat.

Gotta love that prep pundit Tucker Carlson. His name alone is worth a chuckle. But now he's set himself up for a real laugher, saying he'll eat his shoes and tie on CNN's "Crossfire" if Hillary Clinton's book sells a million copies and the publisher recoups its $8 million advance. So far the book is at about 600,000 and climbing so Tucker says he's going to consider consulting fetish Web sites in search of edible shoes. Now there's a subject for "Crossfire" -- Republican fetishes! Tucker and George Will could share an edible bow tie and call it an orgy. (N.Y. Post)

Speaking of politics, Rudy Giuliani is making noises about running for something, sometime, and it immediately brings up the image of a Hillary vs. Rudy match in 2006 for Senate or -- dare we say it -- 2008 for all the marbles. (N.Y. Daily News)

Here's something to look forward to this long, hot summer: The album Joe Strummer was working on when he died almost a year ago is soon to be released. "Streetcore" is being mixed as we speak and word is that the album will include a cover of Bob Marley's "Redemption Song" and a tune written for Johnny Cash called "The Road to Rock 'n' Roll." (Soundgenerator)

--Karen Croft

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Was that really Osama bin Laden in a peach taffeta ball gown (hoisted to reveal a hint of pubic wig) taking the mike at Prince William's 21st birthday bash? No, of course not. But that hasn't stopped a "royal source" from fretting that if kooky comedian Aaron Barschak, who crashed the Windsor Castle bash the other night, "had been a suicide bomber who got on stage he could have wiped out the royals. It would have been the end of the monarchy and we would have been picking up the pieces today." Queen Elizabeth is said to be furious. Warns one palace insider, "Heads will roll for this." Or at least eyes. (U.K. Sun)

Forget the chainsaw and scary mask. Eminem apparently has a softer side. He prays every night before he goes onstage.

Another musician with a surprising pastime: Jewel. Turns out she's into guns. "I love lingerie and jewelry. And I don't know if I should say this, but I like firearms," the singer reveals in the book "Jewel, Revealing Jewel: An Intimate Portrait From Family and Friends." "Ty just gave me a lever-action Winchester 30-30. It's pretty much a vintage gun -- the gun that won the West. They made a limited series of 500 with Ty [that would be rodeo rider Ty Murray], to honor his breaking the record with seven all-around titles. It's beautiful. I have No. 2." And you thought Britney was a bad influence. (InstaPundit)

And speaking of bad poets, Dana Giacchetto, the crooked financial advisor who swindled the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz out of all sorts of dough, is out of jail. He pled for leniency from the judge -- in verse: "Oh, the good I can do/ Oh, those healed and/ Children I smile at,/ Filling and forever I/ Look at God, and love --/ Your Honor, I bare my neck/ Please continue to believe in repair/ For isn't it true that one soul saved/ Is one less suffered?/ And to this end,/ And end to end all means." (Fox News)

A recent Gallup poll shows that only 34 percent of Americans have any sympathy for Martha Stewart, while 29 percent are "very unsympathetic" to her plight. What's more, 18 percent of those polled believe she's definitely guilty of the criminal charges she's fighting, 57 percent believe she's probably guilty and only 3 percent think she's definitely innocent. Guess that MarthaTalks Web site isn't quite doing the trick after all.

Oh, and next time you see Richard Gere, feel free to compliment him on his "perfect bum." He won't mind.

-- Amy Reiter

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