5AB [Delection delay? What recall election delay? While the federal court was contemplating California politics, Arnold Schwarzenegger was talking about orgasms with Oprah Winfrey. Asked Monday -- during an appearance with his wife, Maria Shriver, on Winfrey's show -- about the racy Oui interview from the '70s, in which he boasted of enjoying group sex and mid-competition blow jobs, Schwarzenegger said, "I don't remember the Oui magazine interview or any of the others." When Oprah inquired if he at least remembered the parties, Arnold said, "I really don't. These were the times when I was saying things like 'a pump is better than coming.'" Which of course makes it all better then. Shriver didn't see it that way, though, and smacked her hand right over her husband's mouth. "My mother is watching the show. My mother is watching the show. My God," she said. (Reuters)
Speaking of the urge to stifle one's mate, MSNBC columnist Jeannette Walls has come up with the most refreshing explanation of why things went awry in the Jen-Benville. Walls cites a London Mirror story from sometime last week in which Jen was noted to have thrown a "hissy" fit when a fancy L.A. restaurant refused to whip up a milkshake to satisfy her craving. "Fiance Ben Affleck tried to calm the situation and even offered staff at Kate Mantellini's $100 to whip one up," the paper reported. "Ben pulled out a wedge of cash, saying I've got to get a shake for my girl." Walls says she "can't help but wonder if the thought of buying $100 milkshakes until death do them part gave Ben a serious case of cold feet." Interesting theory, anyway. (Jeannette Walls)
Some people are more inclined to stifle themselves. As it turns out, Mark Wahlberg is one of them. New papa Wahlberg (will his baby daughter, Ella Rae, call him Daddy-Dad?) says that now that he's got a child to think of he's gonna go family friendly in his choice of roles. "There will definitely be no more 'Boogie Nights' or anything like that,'" Wahlberg told the press at the U.K. premiere of "The Italian Job." "In high school other kids can be really mean -- you can imagine what Pamela Anderson's kids have to take into consideration." (Ananova)
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Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez's romance: Just resting or dead and nailed to its perch? Depends who you listen to.
People magazine reported over the weekend that Lopez was unceremoniously dumped by the man who was to have been her latest groom. She was said to be "devastated" by the split.
The New York Post adds oomph to the Affleck-ended-it spin by quoting a source close to the actor who claims that Affleck's mom, to whom he is famously close, advised him against getting hitched to his "Gigli" costar. "She keeps telling him to think about whether or not he would be happy living like this for the rest of his life," the unnamed source is said to have said. "[Is] Jennifer really the sort of woman he really envisions himself married to and having kids with?"
Meanwhile, Lopez was not exactly crying in her soup about the split, according to the Post. Having flown to Miami, she was seen cavorting on the beach in a bridal-white bikini by day and whooping it up in a bunch of nightclubs until the wee hours. "She was having a really good time and at one point said, 'You're going to be seeing a lot more of me,'" a witness told the paper.
The New York Daily News, however, warns us "not to return the toaster oven just yet." That paper's sources claim that people are reading too much into the couple's current hiatus from each other. As for J.Lo's Miami partying, one witness said, "It looked like a bachelorette party. I still think she's getting married."
I know, the suspense is killing you.
Madonna on the eve of the launch of her new kids book, "The English Roses": "I like little kids better than big people. They don't have any bad habits yet." (N.Y. Daily News)
Best of the Rest
Page Six: George Plimpton calls Howard Dean's father, who was a prominent member of a private club to which Plimpton once belonged, a "tyrannical figure," a "staunch Republican" and a "man with sort of a stump leg" with big ambitions; Tyson Beckford still getting the hang of his new motorcycle, publicly floods engine; Britney Spears recovers from Jen and Ben wedding cancellation by indulging in Santa Barbara spending binge, refuses to sign autographs at Nordstrom, saying "No, I'm busy shopping"; Geraldo Rivera nips Newberg, N.Y., marina with his 70-foot sailboat, "damaging both pier and boat"; David Bowie says his brain is like "Swiss cheese" onaccounta all the drugs he did back in the '70s, says he can't remember words to own songs.
Rush and Molloy: One of J.Lo's ex-fathers-in-law says he feels sorry for the singer/actress, says "she'd be happier if she'd just tell the truth" about stepping out on his son; Mayor Bloomberg's Bermuda home damaged by Hurricane Fabian; Joe Pesci tries to make it as a jazz tenor, calls himself Joe Doggs.
Cindy Adams: Seventy staffers fired from Star magazine last week way be planning class-action lawsuit, are particularly pissed that their ages were listed in their severance packages. Adams makes following interesting point: "These reporters, photographers, old-time newsguys are not nervous, genteel fragile souls. The management is now dealing with people who go through garbage cans for a living. They don't scare easily."