You might think of it as ancient history, but Britney Spears, who's promoting a new album, is still talking about how she was, like, totally upset when Justin Timberlake very publicly disclosed that she's not, in fact, a virgin. "Justin said it on 'Barbara Walters.' The world knew after he frickin' told them all. What am I supposed to say, 'No, I didn't'? Can you say I'm a little bitter with men? Just a little," she whines to Newsweek. "It was really hard. There was a time when I was like, 'OK, I'm over men. They're mean.' For like six months, not a single thing happened. Not like they weren't drawn to me, but there wasn't a single real attraction. I'm like, 'What's happening? I know I'm not a lesbian.'" She also knows that she might have gone a little far with those bottomless Esquire photos. "Not that it's dirty or tacky, but it is really revealing and I wouldn't want my kid, at 21, to be dressing like that." No ifs, ands or butts.
An endorsement that counts: A source close to Ashton Kutcher on the Demi Moore squeeze's move to host a fundraiser for Sen. John Edwards this week: "Ashton has been brushing up on all the issues." (The Drudge Report)
I'm sorry. I can't resist just one more Britney quote: Spears on Hinduism: "What's that? Is it like kabbalah?" (Newsweek)
Best of the Rest
Page Six: Poll finds that 37 percent of Austrian citizens think Arnold Schwarzenegger will be the U.S. president someday, one Austrian astrologer thinks he might start World War III; wealthy "Girls Gone Wild" mastermind Joe Francis leaves jailed employees' fates to public defenders; Christie Brinkley thanks fans for responding to chain e-mail and sending get-well notes to her sick mom; Mike Tyson ordered to fork over $62,595 in back child support for his 13-year-old daughter, Mickey Tyson; Amy Brenneman, Elisabeth Shue and their husbands get involved in "a kissing orgy" at L.A. club.
Lloyd Grove's Lowdown: Jay-Z and Beyoncé's bodyguards piss off the paparazzi by muscling them out of the way on the GQ Man of the Year awards red carpet; CNN anchor Aaron Brown misses big breakfast because, according to Larry King, he was sleepy from staying up late the night before; Carrie Fisher reveals Hollywood secrets, dishes big-time dirt in new novel, "The Best Awful"; Maria Shriver puts the word out for a chief of staff, says she wants a Democrat for the job.
Intelligencer: How much do you know about Tina Brown and her thoughts on Wesley Clark, Lloyd Grove, Barry Diller and lipstick? Take a quiz and find out.