Married in Vegas in the wee hours of Saturday morning, set to have their union officially annulled today, Britney Spears and her "joke" husband, childhood buddy Jason Allen Alexander, may have set a new record for celebrity quickie marriages.
As of yesterday -- less than 48 hours after waiting as Spears was escorted to him down the aisle by a friendly limo driver at the Little White Wedding Chapel on the Strip, where Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, Michael Jordan and Juanita Vanoy, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Dixie Chick Natalie Maines, Joan Collins and Sally Jessy Raphael have all tied the knot -- the sobered-up groom was back home with his family in Louisiana.
"He's been through a lot," Alexander's grandfather told "Entertainment Tonight," adding that after being picked up by his folks in New Orleans, the impulsive young fella "didn't have much to say."
The Spears camp, meanwhile, has had plenty of talking to do, busily issuing denials that the pop singer was sloshed off her torn-jeans-clad arse as she said her vows. "She was just having a good time," a buddy of hers present at the nuptials told the press.
In any event, because they A) forgot to invite the rest of us (and Elvis) to the weddin' and B) passed up the hot-air balloon and Tunnel of Vows drive-thru ceremonies for which the Little White Chapel is famous, we'd like to toast the briefly happy couple with a (alas, not particularly exhaustive) list of recentish flash-in-the-pan celebrity couples whom Spears and Alexander have now managed to make look like Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.
Drew Barrymore and Tom Green: wed July 2001, split December 2001. Total time hitched: five months, which was longer than her first marriage, to Jeremy Thomas for less than one month back in 1994.
Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman: wed November 1998, split March 1999. Total time hitched: five months, though Rodman did initially try to get the marriage annulled after just nine days.
Lisa Marie Presley and Nicolas Cage: wed August 2002, split November 2002. Total time hitched: three months 15 days. Presley even managed to stay married to Michael Jackson for longer than that -- 20 months.
Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd: wed October 2001, split July 2002. Total time hitched: eight months, which was even less time than she was married to her first husband, Ojani Noa (13 months).
Shannen Doherty and Richard Salomon: wed February 2002, split November 2002. Total time hitched: nine months -- longer than her first marriage, to Ashley Hamilton for five months, but much shorter than Salomon's infamy for the amateur porn video he made with Paris Hilton.
Courtney Thorne-Smith and Andrew Conrad: wed June 2000, split January 2001. Total time hitched: seven months -- they were separated by the time their wedding was featured on the cover of InStyle magazine.
Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria: wed July 1999, split June 2000. Total time hitched: 11 months. Mad about you? Not.
Jim Carrey and Lauren Holly: wed September 1996, split June 1997. Total time hitched: nine months.
Charlie Sheen and Donna Peele: wed September 1995, split February 1996. Total time hitched: four months, 24 days.
But who's counting?